


It's alright It's Okay

by KALL



Series: Brothers and Bandages [1]
Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Broken Bones, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, CPR, I will update tags as I go, No Turtlecest (TMNT), Panic Attacks, Second Degree Burns, Second degree burns mentioned, dislocation, lots of medical talk actually, no beta we die like clowns, open wounds mentioned, tags are still updating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:02:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27779554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KALL/pseuds/KALL
Summary: What happens when the only team medic is out and down for the count?Following the trail of a possible mutant digging tunnels under the hidden city, the four brothers get trapped in a cave-in. Leo is the only medic on the team and ends up getting seriously hurt in the cave-in, his brothers using their limited first aid knowledge try to keep Leo alive long enough for them to get help. will they be able to help Leo and find their way out in time? or will they lose their brother and wander around in the dark forever.
Series: Brothers and Bandages [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2071578
Comments: 147
Kudos: 198





	1. Skateboards and Stalagmites

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work in the RISE fandom and I want to give a huge shout out to the 'turtle disaster' discord for being such an inspiration of angst and super supportive as I write this. I love ya all despite me not being a regular there. 
> 
> A little warning beforehand, I will be giving trigger warnings before each chpater to keep everyone safe however the tags will update as the chapters go so as not to spoil anything beforehand. I will try my best to warn for everything ahead of time but let me know if I miss something and I will be sure to edit.
> 
> the only spoiler I will give is actually the title, its a spoiler for a later chapter but I doubt anyone is going to get it until that chapter is posted ;)  
> ten points to anyone who guess it early.

"Okay. Let's go over this one more time.” The slider heard his brother groan out dramatically and then watched him run a hand down an emotionally tired face. He snickered a bit at Donatello’s distressed as he viewed his lined up color clad brothers with about the same amount of patients an elementary school teacher had with their pupils at the end of the week. 

“Maybe this time you dumb-dumbs will finally remember all the rules.” He continued, the soft shell taking extra care to look Leonardo over with the face of a disappointed parent. Leo felt like when Donnie was looking at him like that he thought his IQ was dropping every second. 

Just to antagonize him he made sure to put his best thousand-yard stare he could muster on his face. Making sure to really put emphasis on the pupils drifting in opposite directions. It seemed to work because he saw one of Donnie’s eyebrows twitch paired with a supercilious side-eye. 

“No splitting up, no touching the anything, that means no LICKING them Leonardo,-" he looked directly at him again  
"Hey!" Not fair. He wasn’t planning on licking them. Well, maybe NOW he was considering it. But again only to antagonize him. 

"no running, no climbing, no loud noises over 70 decibels. Mikey, no getting distracted. Which means no video games, no texting, and NO-"

The softshell pauses his rant snatching the skateboard out of his hands and out of his grip. gaining another 'hey!' from Leo. 

"-Skateboarding in the tunnels." He finishes glaring at his brother and Leonardo just rolls his eyes, crosses his arms over his chest, and starts tapping his foot impatiently. If he had gloves and red sneakers he probably looks like a video game character, 

“So can we go now?!” Mikey asked excited hopping from one foot to the other excitedly looking from Donnie to Raph and then back to Donnie. Leonardo could understand Mikey's inpatients. They had only been standing here realistically for 10 minutes going over cave exploration safety protocol, but when Donnie was explaining it, it felt more like a million years. 

Mayyyyybe they would have been done by now and we'll down the cave system If Leo hadn't raised his hand and asked the viability of skateboarding in a cave that led them to another five-minute rant about safety. 

“Yeah Dee, we have been over this a few times. I think we are ready to start moving” when Raph speaks to the other three looking to their leader ready to listen. Including Leo. Apparently, even Raph was done just standing there.

It still looked like Donatello wasn’t ready to release them yet and Leo knows how to faintly get the crew moving. 

Leonardo leaned against his odachi and made a big show of his fake yawn. Hook

“I think Donnie is just chicken.” Line. 

“What?” Annnnnd sinker. 

Leo casually swings his odachi around, doing some practice swings with his Leonardo brand of disinterest. 

“It’s okay Donnie. If you're afraid of whatever is making the tunnels under New York you can stay behind. I, Mikey, and Raph got this one.” He makes sure to wave Donnie off over his shoulder and he can practically feel the eyebrow twitch radiating off of the softshell. 

Mikey seems to catch onto the game with a big smile. He wraps an arm around Leonardo’s shoulder hanging off the taller turtle with a wide grin. 

“Yeah Leo, he’s probably scared of the crazy mindless monster That's been robbing the hidden city left and right. It’s okay Donnie, we can protect you.”

Leo’s smug shit-eating grin grows with every second of Donnies’ irritation. He sees Donnie pinch the place where his brow and nose would meet (if he had one) and let out a long-suffering sigh. 

“No. It’s not some mindless monster...” he pulls up a holo screen on his wrist displaying a few newspaper articles. Ones Leo had familiarize himself with and was already bored over. 

”the tunnels have been connected to several robberies all over Newyork and in the hidden city. They are organized. and DIGG was performing those nights had an alibi….” he trails off tapping away on his communicator. 

“Still don’t see you denying your scaaarrred” the cheeky bastard slider sings. Donatello puffs up his chest, brows furrowed. Mikey and Leo share a snicker.

“Alright. If the clowns think they are ready then we can get moving. Everyone suit up. Raph. You can take it from here.” Donatello steps to the side, fully exposing the gaping maw of a hole that was intercepting a sewer.

It existed like it was a mistake, probably was, like someone took a left turn when they should have taken a right, or maybe down? And they crashed through the sewer walls like a dump truck backing up into a fire hydrant only to guilty pull away and hope no one noticed the spewing water. 

"Okay team!" Raph declares as he puts his hands on his hips confidently effectively pulling Leo out of his musing of wet garbage trucks

"We stick together like Donnie said and walk down the tunnel created by this thing until we find the yokai. Once we find it, if it's friendly we kindly ask it to stop tunneling so close to the surface." 

He grins widely his snaffle tooth displayed proudly at his seemingly simple plan. It was straight forward enough that even Leonardo could follow it. 

Still… something about this whole situation concerned him.

Leonardo took note of the cobbled bricks of the sewer that gave away to fresh dirt and stone. Leonardo tried to picture the mutant that did this. 

Something large no doubt judging by the size of the tunnels carved out of the earth. But it was smart too. It never dug its way close to the surface where it would risk getting caught by humans and it easily avoided water pipes and gas lines buried under New York. 

He rubbed his chin thinking to himself. Probably not a misguided yokai then. They wouldn't know what a gas line or water pipes were. A mutated human, however...

A small hand shoots up "And what if the yokai is not friendly?" Mikey asked looking to his three brothers. 

"Oh, that's easy. We smash it!" Raph declares with a fist in the air. 

"I don't think it's a yokai that did this" Leo interjects leaning on his sword casually. The three brothers’ attention is now on him and he now regrets opening his mouth. How does Raph deal with that all the time? 

He swallowed feeling the pressure but refusing to let it show. "I think it's a mutant doing this."

"Mmm and pray tell why you think that Leonardo?" A skeptic Donatello asked. Leo just shrugs casually already done with this kind of attention. 

"Ah, no reason. Just hoping we get to fight something with mystic powers for once." He puts on his award-winning smile gaining a fond look from Mikey and Raph but an agitated one from Donnie. Ah, whatever. It was much easier to pretend to be the group clown than to explain his thought process to his brother's. 

"Well , whatever it is, we need to stop it. And that means to quit standing around and actually moving."

That seems to be the end of the conversations because now everyone is moving to attach their harnesses provided by Donnie around their shells and shouldering their Donnie issued backpacks. 

Leonardo does an extra step and attaches his Jupiter Jim fanny pack around his waist double-checking the strap to make sure it’s secure. 

"I'm sorry, is that contraband. I see?" Donnie is at his side now and pointing to his bag around his waist. Leonardo puts a hand on it protectively. 

"Relax bro, it's nothing that is on your contraband list. Everything in here is necessary." He claims with a smile. 

"I would believe you if I hadn't already issued a backpack with everything we will need." Leo rolls his eyes already feeling another lecture. 

"Flashlight, glow sticks, two water bottles, protein packs, extra batteries-" he lists off on his hands but the soft she paused scratching his head thinking. 

"No...I'm not forgetting anything" he mutters to himself. Leonardo slings an arm over his brother's neck while Raph is helping Mikey get untangled from the gear that he has somehow already got caught in. 

" Yeah yeah I read the email chain. But Think again." He taps Donnie's forehead watching his flinch at the motion before pushing him away

"Your gear was forgetting one important nothing. But not to worry dear brother. I Leonardo took care of it" he unzips the bag to display the metaphorical treasure. 

Inside the colorful space-themed fanny pack was a first aid kit put together by the slider himself. Normally he would keep everything they needed in his small pack that hung off his belt. 

However, with them going much deeper he thought it prudent to beef up his normal supplies. In doing so it quickly outgrew the space of his one pack and he decides to transfer everything to his Jupiter Jim bag. It had slightly more room and gave him better access to everything. 

Plus he looked amazing in it. 

Donatello peered into the unzipped bag with a scrutinizing eye and seeing nothing that was on the banned list pulled away rubbing his chin thinking. 

"Hmm yes...I suppose I may have overlooked one small detail." His shoulder sagged slightly brows furrowed slightly and Leonardo recognized it as Donnie's version of shame. Leo was quick to recover patting Donnie on the side of his shoulder. 

"No man, you didn't forget anything. You told me to get the med-pack together remember?" A lie. Not even a good one. But Leonardo didn't want his brother to feel bad like he forgot something. Sure he liked to tease Donnie, get under his shell a bit but he never took it far enough to make his brother genuinely sad. Or at least he tried to. Donnie raises an eyebrow seeming unconvinced and Leonardo answers it with a smile. 

"Yeah Dee, you said that putting all the tech and supplies together for today's mission was a bit too much so your big smart brain decided to delicate. Remember?" A little flattery wedged in there never hurt and he hoped Donnie would go for it. 

"Mmm y-yes! Of course, I remember! Good job me" he boasts buying into Leonardo's bullshit easily. 

Crisis adverted. 

At this point, Mikey and Raph are now all tangled up in their harnesses and geat and THAT takes another five minutes to untangle them. 

After that, they don their headlamps and descend into the cave. 

Donnie pauses once again rubbing his chin thinking in place. 

"You good Dee?" Leonardo asked again? 

"Yeah just going over everything in my head to make sure I didn't forget anything…I feel like I'm forgetting something important."

"Don't worry about it, Dee. I'm sure we covered everything."

But Donatello didn't look so convinced. He eventually shrugged letting it go. 

"How come we are listening to Donnie today?" Asked Mikey tilting his head to the right with his inquiry. 

Leonardo puts his arms over his head and stretches. 

"I don't know. Raph put him in charge of safety for this mission or something" he mutters 

Mikey's cheeks puff up with a pout. 

"How come I'm never put in charge of anything important? I want to be in charge!" He shouts with indignation that makes Leo smile chucking. 

"Don't worry Mikey being in charge is waaaaasy overrated trust me." he draws out rolling his eyes a bit to add to the dramatic flair. 

"But it's not faiiiirr. It feels like Raph doesn't trust me." He pouted again crossing his arms over his chest in front of Leo.

Leo patted the box turtles she'll twice to comfort him.

"Awww it's okay Mikey. Raph trusts you, and I'm sure he'll put you in charge of something important once he knows your ready for it." Leonardo reassures with a confident smile that seems to be contagious because his younger brother is grinning back at him with twice the charisma.

"Yeah! And when Raph does he's gonna put me in charge of something SUPER important. And I can't WAIT for that day to come" Leonardo could count at least ten stars in Mikey's eyes as he spoke.

"That's the spirit!" 

He smiles brightly watching the backs of his brothers as they walk down the newly formed tunnel. 

Leo took note of how the walls around them were dirt and not stone, it felt differently against the pads of his feet compared to the harsh concrete he used to. 

That's not what was interesting though what fascinated him was now the earth was almost perfectly smooth like whoever was making these tunnels wasn't digging through but pushing through. 

He rubs his chin glancing around thinking. It's as if the tunnels were made by making the dirt disappear rather than moving it. But that would require either yokai level of magic or some seriously intense machinery.

Maybe it wasn't mutants. Because the only person he knew that could pull off making something that ingenious was two turtles in front of him. 

His hand rest I'm the wall, feeling the smooth packed dirt beneath it. 

Well whatever it is...his brother's and him would be alright.


	2. Left or Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We switch to babby orange's perspective as we descend deeper underground. what could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings ahead! 
> 
> beginnings to a panic attack, trouble breathing, blood, and serious injury. Let me know if I missed anything and it needs a tag as well and I'll make sure to update it.

A cave was sOOOOooOOOO much different than a sewer in Mikey's opinion. First off it didn't smell like a sewer, not that Mikey was complaining about their home, he was so used to the smell of leftover pizza and wet garbage he didn't even notice it anymore. 

But the smell of fresh dirt and the moist stone that it slowly transitioned into as they went deeper, was a welcomed change. The tunnel was uneven and organic in shape, unlike the sewers of New York which were uniform in shape and size.

It was also kind of fun to be attached to his brother's with the harness. At the front of the daisy chain of turtles was Raph leading the crew, behind him Donnie typing away on his wrist communicator likely taking readings of their surroundings and looking for any mystic activity, and behind Mikey following up as caboose was Leonardo who was humming a catchy tune. 

Maybe fun wasn't the right word but it was comforting in a way to know that's his brothers weren't that far off from him while they got further and further away from the light of the sewers.

Dirt soon gave a way to stone and rock as they went deeper and Donnie complained about popping in his ears for a little bit before they all adjusted to the new depth. 

Halfway through a very boring game of eye-spy with Leonardo and a lighting round of dodge-Donnie's-techbo-because-eyespy-in-a-boring-tunnel-is-annoying, they end up popping out into what appears to be a more organically formed tunnel. One with stalagmites and other rock formations rather than the smooth walls from before. 

Mikey wonders if they would stumble upon an underwater spring! Then they could go for a swim.

Raph stops which causes Donnie to bump into him then Mikey and then Leonardo.

Raph scratched his head looking back and forth between the two options indecisively. 

"Alright, left, or right?" He asked looking behind at the crew who were busy untangling limbs from one another. 

"We could split up. Two people take a tunnel each!" Mikey suggests with a smile "dibs on Raph so he can carry me!~"

The snapping turtle shakes his head firmly "No. We aren't splitting up. That's a bad idea down here."

"Agreed. Splitting up increases our chances of getting lost."

"Yeah. And it never ends well for anyone in a horror movie too. Ow." Leo tacks on with a snicker and an elbow in his ribs from Donnie 

"I think we should go left!" Mikey interjects trying to contribute to the group. He looks to Leo for support since he seems to be particularly on his side today as the laws of sibling hood goes. 

Leo shrugs a bit which indicates he is probably going to agree with Mikey. 

“Eh, works for me. Left looks more promising anyways” the slider looks to the snapper and the soft shell waiting for their verdict. 

“Technically we are working with a 50/50 scenario and each path has an equal chance for rearing results” the sarcastic Donnie supplies. 

Raph. The ever believer in democracy nodded in agreement and they decided to go left. The crew of turtles descends deeper into the cave taking them down a little longer before it opens up into a fairly large cave with stalagmites and other naturally forming stones and of course, the cave splits up into two more options. 

Leo lets out a sigh knocking his head back dramatically. 

“If this keeps happening we are gonna have to write down where we are coming from so we don't get lost.” 

Raph Leans against one of the stalactites with a sigh, his large frame weight supported by the sturdy thing. 

“Don't worry, I’m already keeping track of our location and recording every turn we make down to the longitude and latitude, your welcome and you're welcome” the soft shell declares proudly with a cheeky smile, displaying his wrist communicator with four bleeping dots on the screen along with some other data that Mikey doesn't understand but MUST be impressive. 

“Good Job Dee, at this rate we will find the thieves in no time” Raph smiles and then the stalactite he is leaning on is not so sturdy because it breaks suddenly causing Raph to fall sideways with a loud “Oof”

Mikey wasn’t an expert on chain reactions. But if he knew one when he saw one. The broken stone caused something to come loose in the cave, a few more stalagmites starting to crack and break around them, several crashing to the floor in an impressive display of destruction.

“CAVE IN!” Donnie shouts covering his head with his arms Raph on Donnie protection duties covering him quickly from the falling rubble. 

Mikey's wide eye feels himself freeze in place. He is not sure why, he's used to moving first and thinking later. A trait that has saved his tail more often than not but for some reason the shaking of the ground around him makes his knees feel uneasy like unstable footing was the only thing in his way of him making a confident move. 

The cave is shaking around them as more and more of the cave starts crumbling around them with three turtles taking cover together and a box turtle frozen in place like a duck on a lake. 

It happened so quickly yet it felt like Mikey was experiencing it in slow motion. One second Leonard was there, he knew his brother was there rather than seeing him because he could feel the hands on the back of his shell. Pushing him forward out of harm's way. 

And then Leo was gone. He couldn’t feel the comforting warm hands on the back of his shell anymore. 

He was greeted with the hard stone floor of the cavern and the impact made him see stars. He didn’t have much time to admire the constellations of his collision because a few moments later the overbearing sound of stone impacting with the floor drove him further into his shell as he tried to protect himself. 

A few moments passed that he counted with his heartbeat. His ears were ringing too much and he felt nauseous. Letting out a little whimper Mikey removed himself from his shell shakily. 

He tried to stand up. But the tether around his waist caught him. It was stuck on something. He turned to see what it had gotten caught on. His head was dizzy from just the movement alone and he needed Leo to make sure he didn’t have a concussion. 

Where was Leo? He was just there wasn’t he? His stupid tether kept him from moving. He needs to get that uncaught first.

Except it wasn’t caught on anything. 

It was buried beneath the rubble of the cave in. 

Wasn’t...Leo….connected to that end?

There is a ringing in his ears that made it feel like a bell was lodged in his skull and it was repeatedly banging against the inside of his head. There was thick dust in the air from the rubble settling and the box turtle made the mistake of trying to breathe in. The particles of the stone and dust clogging his windpipe.

He coughs a few times feeling tears gathering at his eyes and he rubbed at them trying to gasp for air. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t see. 

He was afraid. He wanted his older brother. 

“R-Ra-“ he coughed again, the name too much for his throat. He was starting to panic. He needed his older brother. He needed help. LEO needed help.

“Raaaaph!” He cried out between sobs. His head hurts, his eyes were glued shut because the dust hurt them, and he could hardly breathe. 

“Mikey!” A panicked voice finally replied. The box turtle turned towards the sound of the voice refusing to open his eyes yet. He feels the vibrations of someone sitting down in front of him and then he feels his older brother's large hands cupping his face. 

The concerned voice of Raphael soothes Mikey’s frazzled nerves some but just barely, panic and adrenaline still making their course through his system. “Are you hurt? Can you open your eyes?” 

Mikey shakes his head back and forth. Not sure what question he is answering. 

“Mikey...where’s Leo?” Donatello’s voice now. He must be next to Raph and Mikey didn't notice. Mikey whimpers trying to open his eyes. He points to the rubble pile with a sob.

“Raph….h-help Leo.” He croaks out between whimpers. 

The three brothers look slowly to the source of the cave in. Wedged between two large boulders a green striped arm peaks out. It’s bent at an odd angle and covered in dust and something sticky red. 

But it’s unmistakable who it belongs to and it’s Donatello beside who reacts first.

“LEO!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Leo am I right? >;3
> 
> well, I was INCREDIBLY more nervous to post this chapter haha not sure why. maybe because we are finally getting to the exciting part or maybe because I haven't quite gotten a handle on writing Mikey. IDK 
> 
> let me know what you think!


	3. Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie becomes very familiar with the word Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tigger warnings ahead! 
> 
> blood, so much blood. Injury obviously, a mild panic attack that happens, and mentions of open wounds as well as dislocation. read at your own risk I will update the tags accordingly

Donatello’s favorite color was purple. It was evident to anyone who knew him. His tech was purple, his lab was set to purple mood lightning, his battle shell was purple and his very iconic mask was purple. It was his signature

Yes, Donatello liked purple. The perfect color is created by combining red and blue together. 

Yet…..when a smattering of red and blue was presented to him across the cave floor…. he could only feel sick. 

_'please. Not Leo. Not my brother.’_

__

__

Donatello feels his body freeze in place. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Raph is moving before Donnie has time to even process this. His brain on loop like a computer screen loading. 

“Donnie! help me!” He shouted, gripping the sides of the largest rock and started to grunt as he lifts. 

Donatello is moving like a robot on orders now despite the panic thrumming under his skin. He shoves it down to be dealt with later. 

“Once I lift this you and Mikey pull him out as quick as you can.” Mikey nods but Donnie can tell He's in pain and pushing through it. He will deal with that also later. Both him and Mikey get in position, they need to work quickly to dig Leo out. 

Moving a few smaller stones out of the way the two brothers look to Raph waiting for his signal. 

“Ready?” He asked and they both nod In unison. Raph adjusted his grip and starts to lift the large boulder upward. His muscles strain and Donnie can see a sweat starting to break out across his forehead. That thing has to weigh at least 300 pounds. 

Donatello begins to lose faith wondering if Raph can even lift the rock. The Buzzing panic under his skin starts to pick up. Right when Donatello is about to have a full-on break down the boulder budges, it wiggles, and then finally inches upward slowly. Donnie can hear Raph grunting and breathing deeply. 

With a final grunt and huff of air, the boulder has been moved blessedly upward enough to remove the prone slider. 

Raph doesn't even need to tell Mikey and Donnie to grab Leo because they are already grappling his limp form out from underneath the rubble and pulling him out. 

Leo’s motionless body is barely a second outside the cover of the rock when Raph’s strength gives out and he drops the boulder back into place narrowly missing the three brothers. 

“It’s okay, we got you, Leo,” Mikey states sounding oddly calm despite the fact he had been sobbing not two minutes ago. Leo didn’t respond, not that he could logically. He just had two tons of debris dropped on him. 

Later. He would process that thought later. 

Both him and Mikey lay Leonardo’s limp unconscious form gently on the dusty floor. 

It’s only when Donnie is done some does he realize his hands were wet with sweat. He wipes them on the side of his thighs. When his legs are stained red only then does he realize its not sweat on his hands. But blood. 

Leo’s blood. 

Later…

He hears Mikey timidly ask him something but it’s far off. Like Michelago is sitting too far away. He’s hardly listening looking over Leonardo’s body cataloging his injuries. 

He clearly had a head injury of some sort. That was obviously not only because he was passed out but because there was blood leaking down from a fairly large gash. 

His arm is bent at an awkward angle too, broken or maybe the shoulder is dislocated. Along the slider's leg is a large gash. That seems to be where the majority of the blood is coming from. There are also a few other scrapes and cuts but those pale in comparison to the rest of the injuries. 

His hands are shaking. He needs to tend to Leonardo’s wounds. Fuck. There was so much blood. Where was….

He reaches with shaky hands for the Jupiter Jim fanny pack that was around Leonardo’s waist. It’s torn at the edge and covered in dust but he manages to un-clip it after several unsuccessful attempts and pulls it to his side. When they make it out of this Donnie swears on his tech bo he is going to never make fun of Leonardo for it again. 

hell. He will buy Leonardo a new one. A better one. One with extra pockets on the inside and extra room for all his medical stuff. Maybe reinforce the material with Kevlar. But that would have to happen later. When his hands have stopped shaking and Leonardo is okay. 

Why can’t his hands stop shaking? Later. Please for the love of god do this later. 

He struggles with the zipper, groaning in frustration, and lets out a swear under his breath. Raphael will no doubt scold him later for it. 

Later. 

Later. 

Later…

“DONNIE!” 

It’s the first time any words being spoken to him actually felt clear. It’s Mikey looking at him with red tearful eyes. He feels the small hand of his younger brother. Donnie gets the feeling he has been trying to get his attention for a while and he has been spiraling too quickly like a fighter jet being shot down to notice. 

“Can you move over a little bit? Raph needs to get in here...” The box shell speaks softly, his hand moving up Donatello’s arm and pulling him gently to the side. Donnie immediately is overwhelmed with the feeling of shame. 

He had been so focused on trying to fix the situation he didn’t even take into account that maybe he shouldn’t be. 

His hands were shaking too much, he hardly knew anything about first aid and would likely get distracted in his own head while treating his brother. He wasn’t fit to administer first aid. They needed Raphael to take over. 

Logically he knows he is in shock. Emotionally he’s not ready to admit that. 

He looks to his side Raph is now settled next to him into the space that was created when Mikey pulled him aside. 

Their eyes meet and at that moment he knows his older brother is silently asking for trust. For control over the situation. Donnie’s grip tightens on the tattered Jupiter Jim bag. He's Not ready to relinquish control. He’s the tech guy, the fix-it guy, the one that makes things broken work again. 

But Leonardo isn’t a piece of fancy tech that he can just scrap if the first solution doesn't work. Against every instinct in his shell, His grip loosens on the makeshift first aid bag and he gives Raphael a small nod. He relinquishes control to his older brother, trusting him to fix it. 

The moment he gives Raph his trust to take care of everything he’s unzipping the fanny pack and pulling out everything that Leonardo packed, taking stock of what they had. 

Raph wasn’t a medic. Hell none of them were, that was Leo’s job. But Donnie watched the gears turning in Raph’s head trying to figure out what they were going to do. 

“Okay. Okay. We got this. Donnie put pressure on his leg wound.” 

Donnie acted on orders again. He could do this. As long as he was following orders like a robot his hands weren’t going to shake and he wasn't going to panic. 

Later….he could do all that later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a shorter chapter today but I managed to get it out WAY sooner than I thought. mostly because yall have been incredibly nice and receptive despite this being probably a low quality fic as far as the RISE fandom goes LOL 
> 
> thank you all for your comments and Kudos they give me LIFE


	4. Expectations and Realities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big Brothers are expected to lead and protect. Even when they have already failed both tasks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings again. 
> 
> Blood, lots of blood. First aid is happening now so lots of medical things going on. Let me know if I missed anything though! 
> 
> once again I am unbeted so likeee all the mistakes are my own and I'm sorry if I missed anything. thank you to everyone who has left comments and Kudos I literally have no idea where all you people came from but thank you.

Being the oldest brother, and the largest, there were certain expectations put upon him from a young age. 

_‘Red, you must be gentle with your younger brothers, they are smaller than you and not as tough as you’_

__

__

_‘Red. You must protect and lead your brothers. It will be hard. But I believe in you.’_

__

__

_‘Raphael...there may come a time when you will have to give orders in a crisis. You will be scared. And you will have to make decisions. Ones you will have to live with. But at that moment, You must let your actions speak of confidence. For your brothers.’_

__

__

His father's words echoed in his heart Spurring him into action. Emptying the contents of the first aid pack that Leonardo made he takes stock of what they have. Leonardo came prepared. There are three rolls of bandages, antiseptic spray, a box of Jupiter Jim Bandaids, an ...was that Mikey's old inhaler? Okay moving on.

There Some sort of cream in a tube, Some gauze, some different looking bandages that Raph didn’t know the name of, rubber gloves, and small packets of aspirin. If Raph had the time he would be impressed with how much Leo could fit in one Jupiter Jim bag. 

But he didn’t have the time. 

“Okay. Okay. We got this. Donnie put pressure on His leg.” He watched his brother move immediately pressing down onto the gash in Leo’s leg to try and stem the bleeding. 

Raph tossed the inhaler to Mikey, who caught it easily, and then Raph immediately went to unwrapping one of the gauze pad packets. 

“Mikey, use your inhaler first. Your asthma is flaring up. And we can’t have you passing out.” He watches Mikey’s eyes widen looking at the smooth orange and white inhaler in his hands. He wonders what’s going on inside his brother's head but doesn't have time to focus on it right now. 

He turns back to his work hearing Mikey inhale the life-giving medicine with a deep breath. 

Raph has the gauze open and on stand by. Okay, what's next? Raph reaches into his mind, pulling a memory from a few weeks ago involving Leonardo. 

_" Come on Raph, let me disinfect that before it gets worse."_

__

__

_"Leo. It's fine. Barely a scratch." He remembers feeling Leonardo tugging him down to his level. Getting a good look at his arm where he had accidentally acquired a scrape from skateboarding. Sure it was bleeding but barely._

__

__

_"Yeah, barely a scratch. But the infection is a thing and we live in a sewer sooooo."_

__

__

_Raph remembered being wrangled downward where Leo then produced a disinfectant spray and a Lou Jitsu bandaid._

__

__

_"Even the smallest injury can become a bigger problem down the road if it's not clean."_

__

__

He didn't have time for long-winded memories. The snapping turtle reaches for the disinfectant spray. That he recognized. He pulls the lid off and sprays the gauze down. Maybe he should spray the injury directly?

He didn't have time to second guess his decisions. 

"Okay Donnie. On three, remove the pressure and I'll put the gauze down in place okay?"

He tries not to look at the blood staining Donnie's green hands red. Donnie probably is trying to do the same judging by how far away his eyes look and the paleness of his face. 

"One….two...THREE"

Donnie removes his hands and it's quickly swapped for the sanitized gauze pads. 

The crisp white soon is tainted red like poppy's pushing up through the snow in a way that upsets Raph's stomach. Raph continues to push down applying pressure to try and maintain the bleeding. 

"Mikey, hand me that roll of bandages. Donnie, lift his leg slightly for me." the roll is provided to his open palms quickly and he's wrapping it around Leonardo's leg to hold the gauze pad in place. 

It probably needs to be wrapped tightly right? To add pressure to the wound. That's what Raph decides, wrapping it gently but tightly around Leo's leg. 

The wrapping seems to do its job because the bleeding seems to be under control now. Enough that he can breathe a little better now. Next is the bleeding on Leonardo's head. It's not as bad as his leg but it's definitely a source of concern. Raphael looks over his brother's prone form. He looks so small lying there, And so pale. 

He didn't have time for focusing on nonimportant details

He scoots closer to Leonardo's head, the second roll of bandages in one hand and the spray in the other. 

"Lift his head a little bit." He orders and Mikey cups his brother's head and gently lifts it slowly up so that Raph can work the bandages around his head. 

On the first attempt he fumbles and the bandages don't stay. The snapping turtle growls a bit under his breath in frustration. 

He didn't have time for mistakes. 

He then removes Leonardo's mask, as it was in the way. The once blue material is stained a dark red and torn to pieces anyway. It no longer served a purpose and yet it felt like he was disrespecting sacred ground by removing it. 

But he didn't have time to think about that. 

Now with the mask out of the way it was hard to distinguish the blood from Leonardo's face stripes, but the bandages went on much easier this time. 

He ties it off only taking a moment to scrutinize his work. It's not the best bandage job but it will do for now. 

Now for the arm….

God Raphael has no idea how to go about this. He doesn't even know what he is looking at. Is it broken? Or dislocated? His hands hover over Leonardo's arm, fingers twitching as he thinks. 

How the hell was he supposed to tell the difference? Ugg! This is why Leonardo was in charge of being the medic. 

_'maybe you should have learned from him when you had the chance.'_

__

__

A sinister voice whispered in his brain. It sounds suspiciously like his own. 

_'he tried to teach you. Remember?'_

__

__

Raph does remember. He remembers about a month ago Leonardo asking him for one weekend, clutching a white and red first aid kit from the lair to his chest. 

_"Come on Raph, it will be just a few hours. I just want to teach you the basics"_

__

__

_Raph remembers barely glancing at Leonardo, focusing on his workout at the time._

__

__

_"I don't need to learn any medical stuff, Leo. We have you for that. And you're literally the best at all that healing stuff."_

__

__

_He recalls hearing Leonardo huff in frustration._

__

__

_"Okay, but what about the times that I'm not there?" the slider raises an eyebrow at his older brother challenging him._

__

__

_Raphael put a hand on Leo's shoulder giving him a big confident smile._

__

__

_"Don't worry Leo. You are always gonna be there for us. I trust you."_

__

__

"Raph... Raph. Raphael!"

He snapped out of his memory seeing both Donnie and Mikey looking at him. Looking up to him. 

He needed to get it together. 

He didn't have time for this. 

"Sorry. I was trying to think of what to do with his arm." The three brothers look at it each with their own concerned and confused face. 

"I think...we should leave it for now. It's not bleeding and no bones are sticking out. At least until we can get him to a real physician." suggest Donatello. 

"I think Donnie's right. We shouldn't touch his arm for now. We might mess it up more." Raph hears Mikey sniff next to him, and he turns to see his baby brother's eyes filled with shiny crocodile tears. 

"What do we do then? We are stuck underground, Leo’s odachi is probably under two tons of rubble, and the only way out that we know is covered is said rubble!” Mikey shouts pointing to the direct source of the four brothers' woes today. 

Raphael needs to take control of the situation. He needs to reassure his brothers that everything will be fine. Both the brothers are looking to him and even though Leo’s the one with the charm and charisma he tries his best to give a Leo brand convincing smile. 

Even on his face, it doesn’t feel convincing. 

“Its okay, everyone calm down, Donnie, can you call for help with your wrist thingy?” he asked, looking to his soft shell brother who blinks a few times as if his brain is processing the words and catching up, before nodding with a scoff. 

“Well Of course I can! To imply otherwise is an insult to my intellect." it's an attempt at the normal Donnie bravo, everyone can see it. But it falls incredibly flat to the point it's almost worse than if he was silent. 

The room is hushed as Donnie taps away on his wrist communicator too much time seems to pass. Raph opens his mouth to ask if it's working when the harsh sound of an error echoes around the cave startling all three conscious brothers. Donnie’s brows furrow and he taps more angrily on the device. 

Another error message. 

Raph starts to feel the dread set in. He wets his beak before speaking, watching Donnie's composure slipping as the soft shell continues to tap and bang his device angrily only getting the same results. 

“Donnie what's wrong?” 

“I don't know!? It was just working a moment ago. It must have been hit or there is some sort of interference.” He smacks the side of it angrily like it's just a toaster misbehaving and that sets alarm bells off in Ralph's head. 

“W-well get it working!” Mikey cries, encroaching closer into Donnie’s space like an invasive species, looking over his shoulder trying to see the error-screen more clearly. 

“You don't think I’m trying?! “ He snaps and Raph watches him turn around to get some space and rips the thing off his wrist and begins turning it over like it might hold the answer to what's wrong. He shakes it like a magic eight ball and it just continues to make that harsh error noise repeatedly. 

And then Donnie halts his motion. His battle shell rises and falls in a resonated sigh and those alarm bells in Raphael's head are so loud he almost misses the soft defeated 

“It’s broken….” from Donnie.

Raph takes a sharp intake of breath. Okay, keep it cool. You need to make sure you set the mood properly so Mikey doesn't panic and Donnie doesn't shut down. Despite the fact that every instinct in his body is telling him to do both.

"Guys. It's going to be okay. Donnie made sure to tell dad where we were going before we left." The largest brother assured patting the top of Mikey's head softly.

"As soon as we don’t show up at the time we were supposed to go back, dad will come looking for us. Isn't that right Donnie"

There was an unnerving silence that seeped into the cave, like unwelcome fog on a cold night. 

"Donnie?"

The soft shell was just sitting there, his back like a blank canvas.

"Donnie….you remembered to tell dad where we were going...right?" The timid voice of Michangelo asked. 

Raph could feel his heart drop into his stomach as soon as Donnie didn't answer right away. He waited for the soft shell to turn towards him. To assure his brother's that of COURSE he did. 

And he would scoff and call them dum-dums and they could wait for their dad to find them.

But that didn't happen. And every second that passed that it didn't Raph's faith dropped that it would. 

"Donatello. PLEASE tell me you told someone, a-anyone where we were going today." Raph pleaded, Donatello, turned slowly. Fear clearly written in his features and the low light of the headlamps on the floor reflected off his eyes and created shadows on his face that made him look undead. 

"I didn't….I forgot." He finally admitted with a hollow voice and a shaking body. 

And that's the moment that Raph truly realized how much trouble they were in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a headcanon that Mikey had Asthma as a turtle tot but mostly outgrew it which is common for people with asthma but it can flair up sometimes. we will touch on this subject ahead later ;) 
> 
> HUGE shoutout to Fictionalfoxy , ParvumAutomaton, and aliaGalondel for your incredibly sweet and long comments. they literally give me life and are the only reason I'm encouraged to edit so quickly. anyways its like midnight I'm going to bed *dies*


	5. New Responsibilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey gets his wish granted and we see a plan formed by the brothers. Tensions are high and the stakes even higher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings apply ahead! happy reading >;3

The box turtle swallowed, trying to stomach the reality that he was served like a burnt dish presented by his brother that wouldn't make it past the initial swallow. 

"Donnie, what do you mean you forgot to tell dad?"

The softshell balks with arms thrown in the air dramatically. "I just forgot okay!! I was too busy trying to get everything together and double-checking the gear it just-" he huffed, running a frustrated hand over his head and if he had hair he would no doubt be pulling it.

"-slipped my mind." he finished with a hushed growl 

"Donnie! I put you in charge of all the safety of this mission. How could you forget?!" Mikey flinched at his brother's yelling game wanting to hunch back into his shell.

"Well, YOU could have told dad where we were going too you know!" 

"Are you trying to blame this on me?" Raphael stood up cramming himself into Donnie's space. 

"I didn’t say that!" 

_Stop it._

__

__

"Well it sure felt like you were imploring it"

_Stop fighting._

__

__

"It's implying not imploring and I wasn't implying anything!" Donnie and Raph looked ready to lay blows now. sure as siblings they had a few tussles in the last over petty squabbles and stolen pizza slices but this looked different. The air was charged and each was gripping their weapons tightly. 

"Stop it both of you!" Mikey shouts, reaching his own boiling point, shoving himself between his two brothers forcing them apart. 

"We don't have time to argue about who's at fault it is he looks between the two trying to shove some sense back into their skulls with just a look" Raph seems to flinch slightly at the phrase and instantly deflates, Mikey regrets the wording he used but. However, Donnie looks like he is still ready to swing his bo staff. 

"What we need to do now is stay calm-" he placed a firm hand on Donnie's plastron and pushed him away from the eldest brother creating some room between them as if the physical distance could air out the smell of a fight.. "-to find another way out. Leonardo needs us right now”

The two brothers pause their arguing, the pot that was going to boil over has now been brought down to just a simmer. At least his brothers had the decency to look ashamed at their actions.

“Okay….your right Michelangelo. Let's start with trying to call for help another way” Raph has his cell phone out but before he can even dial a single number he growls and throws the thing at the floor making it clatter and echo around the cave loudly. 

“No signal. We are too deep for cell service.” is the conclusion the soft shell comes to he has his wrist device out tapping away on it a blue screen displayed, he must be trying to re-boot it or reprogram it. Something Mikey had seen him do a few times with some other equipment in the past the few times he was allowed to quietly hang out in his lab with him. 

“What about the panic buttons Donnie.” He asked with a lick of hope in his voice. It’s dashed immediately when his brother's head shakes back and forth grimly. 

“No luck there. Too deep for that as well Michelangelo.” Raph's face tightens as he thinks, taking in that information. The cave is quiet, the emptiness settling in and filling the three turtles with despair and building up a wall of silence all looking to Raph who should be forming a plan right now. 

"We are gonna have to split up." He speaks with finality breaking the silence they had built with a sledgehammer. 

"But Donnie said not to split up!" He whined looking to Donnie to back him up on this one. 

"The situation has changed Michelangelo. Leonardo is hurt and likely can't be moved right now. The only option is to have me and Donnie look for another way out and you stay here with Leo."

The kernels in Mikey start to pop with unrest.

"I want to help find a way out too!" He jumped up from his place on the cave floor and found his body wasn't so keen on the sudden motion. 

"I know Mikey. But you hit your head pretty hard too." Raph kneels down and places a hand on Mikey's shoulder. A sign that Mikey recognized as 'serious older brother mode'. 

"I also need you to stay here because I'm putting you in charge of something really really important." He pauses looking Mikey directly in the eye with the face he used when talking about serious matters with their dad.

Raph wasn't treating Mikey as the baby brother right now. He was treating him like an adult. 

The box turtle was acutely aware of every vertebra in his spine because it went ramrod straight. 

"I need you to look after Leonardo and protect him. Those mutants or yokai are still down here somewhere, it's unlikely that they may show up because we haven't seen hide or hair of them. But in the off chance, they do. You're gonna have to protect Leo. Can you do that?" 

A breath gets caught in his throat. This is what Mikey wanted. He wanted Raph to trust him in the same way he did Donnie or Leo. This is what he wanted. And yet...this isn't how he wanted it at all. 

He looked at his unconscious brother’s face. Pale and bruised. Leonardo was his protector. All his brothers were, since as far back as he can remember always looked after him since he was the youngest and smallest. Sure they always looked out for each other, but that rule of watching each other’s back always felt like that rule was double in effect for the box turtle. 

It allowed him to be a kid longer. Allowed him to goof off more and shrug off most responsibilities his brothers had to assume. He always carried around a certain Mikey brand of optimism because he knew he always had his brothers to fall back on in case things went south. 

A memory surfaces from the past of Leo putting a band-aid on Mikey’s knee. He was only 6 at the time but it’s one of his first memories of Leonardo. He had been trying to skateboard with his brothers and took a nasty tumble. He only scraped himself but he remembers crying like it was the end of the world. 

And then Leo came to his aid with a Lou Jitsu Bandaid and promises of a cookie. 

Donnie leans into Raphael's ear, murmur something unsure that makes something affronted flare-up in Mikey’s chest. Maybe it’s what he needed. The final push forward to get him up on his feet and taking up the yoke of protector. 

“I’ll keep Leo safe while you and Donnie go get help,” he affirmed standing tall and proud. 

Donatello still looks uncertain, and Mikey would be offended if he didn’t know that Donnie’s concern lay with his protective side. Wanting to be there for both him and Leonardo and not being able to. 

“You can count on me.” he re-affirms, gaining a small smile on Raph’s face. 

“I know I can buddy.” and just those words were enough to terrify Mikey. He was going to be in charge of Leonardo’s safety. That was a lot and Raph believed in him wholeheartedly. He could NOT afford to let his brothers down. 

“Donnie, you think you might be able to get a signal to the surface if we get closer to it?” Raph asked turning to his brother who was fiddling with his wrist communicator with a fervency that Mikey had only seen a handful of times. The blue screen with white text is gone now the device is now displaying its normal screen, still, an error message was displayed but that didn't seem to stop Donnie from tapping away on it. 

The softshell shrugs, finally pulling his eyes away from his wrist communicator. 

“It’s a possibility, we are pretty deep right now so we would need to get a lot closer to the surface before I would be able to reach anyone. Chances are we might find a way out around the same time I can get a signal” he admits with a tone of regret looking away.

“But maybe I can try and boost the signal by adjusting the frequency…..” he trails off with a mutter going back to his wrist tapping away in his Donnie Brand of the zone. 

“Sounds like a plan, Me and Donnie will continue down this tunnel and hopefully we will get close enough to the surface we can call for help, or maybe we will get lucky and find another way out.” he's now gathering up the gear for him and Donnie. 

First his and Donnie's bag, their headlamps, weapons, and then finally he gets to the theaters connecting them all together. He hesitates there. Hand around the lifeline that connects them all together, put there with intentions to keep them from getting separated and safe. 

Mikey finds himself holding his breath and even Donnie seems to pause his ministrations of tapping. 

There is a soft metal click as Raph undoes the clasp holding them together separating the four brothers into groups of two. 

Mikey tries not to dwell on the significance of that. 

“We will be back soon you two,” Raph assures shouldering both his and Donnie's bags. His eyes dart across Leonardo's body like he is lingering on Leonardo's form, trying to memorize it. Immortalize the breathing form of his younger brother. 

Mikey tries not to think of that implication either. 

Raph's neck bobs with a swallow and turns on his heels to leave. Mikey bites his lip and watches his brother's backs turn to him. 

There are two options for the brothers to traverse. One tunnel that veered to the left and one to the right. Mikey watches as his two older brothers have a silent conversation before heading to the left. 

“Be careful!” he shouts out his voice echoing around the cave and ironically the extra voices make him feel more alone. 

Their forms melt and fade into the shadows till they are nothing but a faint form outlined by headlamps.

And then...Mikey was alone and in charge. 

He sits down and pulls his knees to his chest, resting his head atop them. He looks to Leonardos form, watching his chest rise and fall gently in a rhythm that was at least comforting for the box turtle. 

He started to count his brother's rise and fall of his chest to pass the time. 

It was going to be okay. Not because Mikey was sure it would be.

But because it HAD to be. The alternative wasn’t even worth considering…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *looks to all the hits, kudos, and comments. looks to the story confused* 
> 
> who are all you people and where did you come from???? 
> 
> but jokes aside thank yall so much for all the love I honestly did not expect this kind of welcome to this story! I also haven't slept in *checks watch* 33 hours so any mistakes are not my own they belong to the insomniac demon that decided to try and kill me. I'm going to bed *dies*


	6. Separated Twice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael and Donnie Look for another way out. Everything _totally _goes fine.__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings apply for this chapter. Happy reading! 
> 
> everything is totally fine.

Raphael keeps looking over his shoulder, the motion holding several purposes and irritating him a little bit more every time. He knows Raph is just doing it to make sure that Donnie was still behind him. 

He knows Raph must blame him, there's no way he wouldn't. He's just now waiting for the inevitable conversation of how he’s disappointed as an older brother. His shoulders are tense waiting for the conversation to come. 

Come on just get it over with! 

Donnie taps away on his communicator trying to force his way into fixing it and getting a signal to the surface. He ignores the concerning glances that drive a steak of guilt into his chest with the steady beat of a hammer. He furrows his brow and internally screams with another red error message that pops up, his frustration growing with his headache. 

Raph looks like his head is a million miles away every time he looks over his shoulder. 

Or maybe just a couple of hundred feet back. 

“Oof!!” Donnie watches Raph smack his face right into a Stalactites breaking it off and catching it with fumbling hands. He's too distracted right now and it only makes Donnie's frustration grow. 

“Careful.” Donnie admonished with a click of his jaw that anyone else would take as normal warning. But Raph wasn’t’ stupid. He could detect the subtle hints of the accusatory tone. 

Maybe it was unfair to snap at the tender snapping turtle. But Donnie was feeling the pressure mount in his skull from the migraine that was growing and he needed to direct his frustrations somewhere. 

And god forbid he direct it inward. That would require him to acknowledge some nasty emotions festering in his chest like a disease. Eating away at him. 

And Donnie didn’t DO emotions. He made sure to keep his cards close and his brothers at arm’s length. Like his battle shell, it was implemented to keep him from hurting. He knew Raphael blamed him. As he should. 

He had stupidly been too busy prepping everything and double-checking that they had all the supplies for the mission. He forgot something SO important, so vital, that it may cost them their brother's life…

He shakes his head back and forth as if to physically fling the thought out of his head and as far away as he possibly could. He needed to focus on trying to get his communicator to work. That's what he needed to do. He needs to prove himself, to fix the situation he put him and his brothers in. 

Only then will he forgive himself. 

The tunnel they had been traveling down widens out into a larger naturally formed cave and Raph takes a seat on one of the rock formations silently indicating it’s time for a break. Donnie’s only acknowledgment is he pauses his foot movement but he continues to try and get the blasted thing to work. It's his own tech, his own design. So why won’t it work???

He frowns and his migraine hits its crescendo as he is greeted with another big fat red error message. He growls, ripping the wrist communicator off himself, almost taking some skin with it, and chucks it against the wall. 

“Dammit!! Stupid thing...isn’t” he mutters and growls under his breath pacing back and forth angrily as he rubs his temples. 

“It’s alright Don, give it a rest for a bit, and let’s focus on finding another way out,” Raph whispers softly in attempts to soothe but it still feels too loud and too accusatory in Donnie’s ears. It’s like the last switch is flipped, electrifying him. and he’s ready to snap and growl like a feral dog at his brother

“Whatever.” he bites the words out padding over to his communicator that lays lifeless on the floor 

“Let's just try to find a way out without starting another cave-in. Think you can handle that dear brother?” the metal bracer makes a solid click that resonates around the cave and he knows he has crossed a line with that last jab. 

“Come on Donnie….that's not fair.” Raph whispers so gently it's enough to finally push him to the edge and snap. 

He whirls around on his brother like a rabid dog cornered and ready to go for the jugular. 

The Words that came out of his mouth next fill him with incredible guilt and an equal amount of twisted gratification like a sweet poison easily going down his throat. 

“Not fair? Well, it's not really fair that Leo is lying in a dusty old cave ready to kick the bucket.” 

_'Stop it.'_

__

A voice that sounds suspiciously like Mikey whispers in his head.

“And we left him there!” 

_'Stop. This isn’t what I want to say.'_

__

__

Another chimes in that sound like his own 

“And he wouldn't even BE there if YOU hadn’t CAUSED THE CAVE IN!” 

_'STOP!!!!'_

__

__

He’s practically yelling now, his lungs and eyes burning from the pain they had been containing. His chest heaves up and down from exerting himself and he can only stare at Raphael’s stunned face. 

A face dripping with tears. 

“Raph....I…” 

Instant regret. just add water. He reaches out wanting to mend the situation. 

Perhaps he had heeded his own cryptic warning because the shouting was echoing around the cave, making the stalactites above them shake.

And like Donnie's world, they start crashing down around them in a familiar display, One nearly misses him and he jumps back a few steps, his eyes meeting Raph's wide wet ones. A few stalactites have impaled the ground sharply, effectively separated them, making a barrier like prison bars. 

Looking to his feet Donnie watched as spider-webbed cracks spread across his feet. The rock splitting right before his eyes

And then the floor was falling through. Donnie's last view of his brother was a worried tear-stained face falling through his own floor. Opening up and robbing him of his brother's presence. 

**"Donnie!!"**

****

**"Raph!!!!!"**

********

They cried for each other Donnie attempting to reach for his brother’s outstretched hand 

********

And now he was flung away from the light plunged into darkness. His breath is stolen from him just as cruelly, punched out of him as his body is dropped into icy water. 

********

Bubbles escape his mouth instead of a scream and that's the third thing snatched from him. The water is so cold it makes his muscles lock up and there is a moment when he panics when all he can do is sink to the bottom. 

********

He needs air and he knows he's in shock and he knows he needs to start swimming if he wants to have a chance at surviving. 

********

Swimming upward, or at least what he hopes is upward, feels like fighting through a blizzard, pushing against an invisible wall the cold biting at his skin. His heartbeat is slowing as his temperature lowers and it's getting harder and harder to stay conscious.

********

Being a mutant reptile dropped in cold water was not the most ideal situation to be thrust into. 

********

He breaks the surface taking in a gulp of air finding that even the air was a biting cold that burned his lungs. He blindly reaches in front of him and luckily finds the edge of the underground spring and pulls himself up flopping wetly onto the stone floor with a shiver. 

********

He curls his legs to his chest shaking, trying to conserve heat. It’s pitch black, he’s not sure where his headlamp went and he doesn't have the strength to lift his head and look. 

********

His teeth chatter as he reaches with a shaky hand to his wrist band tapping on it slightly. His hands are too shaky and he fumbles a few times missing his target but he finally manages to succeed in turning on the heating function to his battle shell. At least his tech can do one thing right. He wishes he could say the same about himself. 

********

It hisses and whirls booting up, and he feels the warmth on the back of his shell. It brings temporary relief, but his body is still shaking the stone floor beneath him, like ice against his skin. 

********

He doesn't think Raph fell through the floor with him into the pool. He didn’t hear another splash on his way down and didn’t hear any other splashing from someone struggling in the water. 

********

But regardless he checked just in case. Lifting his head shakily he called over his shoulder

********

“ R-R-Raph….y-you there?” he called his voice echoing back at him as a reply.  
He was alone. 

********

The softshell laid his head back down pulling his arms and legs to his chest shivering miserably. 

********

He shut his eyes tightly holding back his tears, he couldn't do any more water right now. Yet he feels the tears slip past his mask feeling like knives against his skin, the guilt of what he said before feeling even colder in his stomach than the freezing temperature on his skin. He swears if he breathed out he would see fog. 

********

It's okay. You're okay. You're just all alone, freezing cold, without a source of light, lost in a cave, and you're a failure. 

********

He swallowed down his misery. Later he could have a breakdown later. Later when he’s warm and safe and not all by himself. 

********

He needs to get up. He knows he needs to get up and start moving because if he lays here too long he won't be able to regain all his body heat. Sure the battle Shell helped bring his temperature up but there was only so much it could do. 

********

He wished Mikey was here with his famous hot cocoa, or Raphael who could smother him in a large hug that warmed him from the inside out, or even Leonardo who would bring his favorite fuzzy blanket and wrap them up together in it and annoy the hell out of him. 

********

He rather have anyone here with him than being left alone with his thoughts. 

********

He gets up slowly. Muscles spasming from shivers and toes curling at the wet floor. The first step was to get up, then get moving to regain some of his body heat. Then he needed to find a way out. 

********

He does just that, now standing on his two legs looking upward towards the ceiling to find the hole he dropped down was at least 30 feet up. No way he was going to be able to scale that.

********

His gaze glanced around the area he fell into. His eyes now adjusting to the darkness some so he could see a little more. Looks like there was thankfully one tunnel so at least he didn't fall into an isolated underground spring with no way out. 

********

Looking at his only option he decides to go right. Because going left when met with a spit tunnel ended badly might as well spice it up. 

********

Still shivering he wraps his arms around himself and walks down the tunnel. Logically he knows he should stay in one place rather than wander off into the darkness to only get more lost, but honestly, his chances of being found are just as good right now if he moved or stayed in one place. 

********

He hopes Raph is doing better off than him right now. And he hopes he gets a chance to apologize to him. 

********

His mind reflects on what was said. To Raph before he fell through the floor with another cave-in. 

********

Raph should be blaming him. He knows he should. It's Donnie’s fault they are stuck here, and now it's his fault that they got separated. 

********

'if you just let dad know where you were going we wouldn't be here'

********

_'Raph blames you'_

****__** **

****__** **

_'Mikey must blame you'_

****__** **

****__** **

_'even you blame yourself'_

****__** **

****__** **

_'your fault'_

****__** **

****__** **

_'YOUR FAULT'_

****__** **

****__** **

His brain shouted on him flinging insults at him making it near impossible to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. 

********

He needs to stop this downward spiral. He could wallow in his guilt later. 

********

Producing his tech-bo from his side and elongating it with the release switch he uses it as a makeshift walking cane to tap in front of him so he won't trip over any rocks. 

********

He wondered if Raph was alright…..

********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh sorry did I say everything is totally fine? no sorry, I meant totally NOT fine :)


	7. New Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael is all alone. Will he go savage or will he push through?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some warnings for the chapter ahead! 
> 
> description of blood, open wounds, and second-degree burns.

Raph blamed himself. He was too bulky. Too large and too strong for his own good like a bull in a fine china shop. And they were only here because of him after all. The cave-in was his fault and Donnie was giving him the silent treatment because they both knew it. 

He’s waited for a conversation that may never come. 

Ever since he was young he was hurting his brothers, roughhousing was all fun in games as a toddler until someone got hurt because he pushed too hard and forgot to hold back. He later learned to control his strength with a series of exercises and new hobbies like knitting. 

But it looks like some habits don't die.

At least that’s what he reflects on from his back. Falling through the floor had winded him even if he didn’t fall that far and so he was just laying there. Staring up at the ceiling wondering what went wrong and recalling the past few minutes. 

He remembers Donnie is shoving past him muttering about him taking too long to move. Raph wanted to snap at the softshell. To make him apologize for ...for. He doesn't even know. He just wants to be validated. To scream and punch something. 

Instead, he took a deep breath. Holds it for a few seconds and lets out. 

He doesn't have time for this. He didn't need to wallow in self-pity and guilt when his brain needed to focus on getting out of here and getting help for Leo. 

He pushed forward, physically, and mentally. He catches up with Donnie quickly and their walk continued in silence, only the sound of their footsteps and Donnie’s tapping to resonate off the walls around them. 

He remembers that They entered a new cavern, the tunnel widening out into a larger space that smells like stale air and wet stone. It's marginally better as far as Raph is concerned as he sits down on a rock formation to take a breather. Sure they had hardly done anything to justify breaking a sweat but the claustrophobia was setting in and he needs a little reprieve. 

Donnie doesn't seem to mind the break either since he stops a foot away wordlessly tapping away at his wristband with the same intensity that he had been holding all day. The softshells growls and then in a single fluid motion rips the thing off his wrist and chucks it against the wall. 

“Dammit!” he cried as the device clatters against the floor uselessly. Raph flinches watching Donnie continue to swear and pace back and forth, all the while muttering under his breath. 

Raph wasn’t stupid. As the eldest, he knew his brothers probably better than they even knew themselves. Put in charge at a young age to watch his three younger brothers there were things he noticed and knew. And right now he Knew Donnie was keeping something close to his chest. Donnie and Leo were coined the ‘disaster twins’ from a young age. 

And even when they were not technically twins they acted like two sides of the same coin when it came to their emotions.

Donnie. Showed nothing. keeping his emotions close to his chest like a bad hand of cards given to him. Letting no one know of his turmoil and outwardly displaying a turtle of indifference. 

Leo, showing every single emotion EXCEPT what he was really feeling. An actor at heart. All smiles and easy-going lines that easily disguised what was hiding underneath the mask. 

So to see Donnie letting some of his inner turmoil seep through the cracks of his mask means he was hurting more than what he could understand. And then the soft shell was lashing out at him, finally blaming Raph like he was expecting. 

In Raph’s experience even when you see the punch coming it still hurts when it lands. Perhaps twice as much since you were bracing for it. 

But before he could even address Donnie’s swirling emotions and his own they were falling through the floor from an unstable room. Separated. 

That's right that's what happened. His brain finally catching up with the turn of events that played out in front of him like a play. 

He finally sits up, his body cracking and sore from the movement. He might have cracked his hell but there is no way to tell until he can get Leo to look at it. He rubs his shoulder that is also sore and sporting a new bruise and a fresh cut oozing blood. He looks at his hands that are now stained with his own blood and presses his hand to the cut with a wince. He would need to get Leo to look at that too. 

Looking around him he noticed the new tunnel he was in was much smoother in shape, less organic like it had been formed over the passage of time and more of it being made recently. 

So he is in one of the yokai formed tunnels. He not only needs to find Donnie, get help, but he also needs to be careful not to stumble upon the yokai or mutants they originally were down here to hunt. 

He simply didn't have the time to face off against them right now. Leo was already working on borrowed time and Raph didn't want to curate more debt. 

Especially when Father time came to collect and he simply didn't have the payment on hand. 

He checks himself over, he still has his tonfas, good. And he had the headlamp but he seems to be missing the backpack of other gear, which means Donnie either has it or it was left in the cavern above. He dusts himself off looking upward. Can’t go back that way. 

He takes a deep breath in. and lets it out. Just like his dad taught him. 

“Okay, Raph. You can do this. Don't focus on the fact that you're completely alone and your kind of freaking out and you might go savage Raph. Yeah. Just keep talking to yourself and everything will be fine.” 

He walks down the tunnel hesitantly bringing his hands close to his chest and clasping them together looking a lot more like a child wanting a glass of water before bed rather than a giant snapping turtle walking through the dark tunnels under New york. Though they might have walked straight to Jersey for all he knows. 

He keeps walking down the tunnel glancing around nervously. He needed to get it together. He was the leader! And that meant he couldn't be afraid when he was alone. He straightened his shoulders in an attempt to look and feel braver. 

There is a sharp turn up ahead and so he uses it to hide his large body peaking around the corner. Just around the corner, the smooth tunnel widens out into a large smooth room. It's large enough to constitute as a lair of sorts. It even has the reminiscent of their own home because there are items scattered across the opening suggesting someone was living down here. 

There was a worn-out love sofa that looked like it was used more like a bed than a sofa. A table with three good legs and the last broken one being held up with just a milk crate. Bottles and take out boxes litter the table with two mismatching chairs that don’t even match the table. One being too tall and one too short to be considered the same set. 

There was a dartboard set up on the wall as well as a shitty box tv set up on cinder blocks in front of the sofa for sources of entertainment for whoever, or whatever was living down here. 

But the owners of this…..humble abode doesn’t seem to be present so Raph felt comfortable enough to round the corner fully walking into the space. Looks like the little humble home was also acting as some sort of terminal? There were several tunnels jutting off in all different directions. 

It reminded him of the subway systems of New York and this acted as one central system. But who and why would someone need this many tunneling systems? And more importantly, where did they all go. 

Raph looks up at the high ceiling taking a few steps backward in awe. His shell bumps into something metal and he almost loses his balance. 

If Raph had any hair on his body it would be standing straight up. He freezes in place and slowly turns. What he finds behind him was nothing short of a dragon's hoard. Stacks of dollar bills, fine art, and collections of artifacts that looked like they could belong to yokai and humans alike. 

Raphael bends down picking up a copper-looking shield adorned with jewels and examines his distorted reflection in it. The tunneling system, the robberies. 

Of course! This was the bad guy’s lair! They must be using this as a central tunneling system to pull off all those robberies. He's on high alert now his tonfas in his hands and he does a quick examination of the cave around him. Sweeping it with his gaze just to make sure he wasn’t going to have to fight anyone right away. 

Finding that he was still alone, He relaxes only marginally lowering his weapons a bit before he spies in the corner a dusty-looking first aid kit. At least he could take care of the cut on his shoulder and since he was using the bad guy’s stuff he didn’t feel bad about borrowing it without permission. 

He walks stiffly over to the kit retrieving it and slides down to the floor leaning against the wall nearest to the treasure hoard since it has the best view of the room around him. 

He opens the kit to find it incredibly sparse and very disappointing. only a few bandages and half a roll of gauze. Leonardo always made sure they had plenty of supplies on hand and Raph is reminded again how much Leo pampered them when it came to anything medical related.

He doesn't have time to really dwell on it though and he commandeers the half roll of gauze and uses what's left to make a patchwork job for his shoulder. It wasn’t amazing, hell it wasn’t even good. But it would do for a little bit. 

With his shoulder patched up, he lets out a tired sigh and lets his head fall back against the wall behind him. He's so tired, he's so alone and he’s only holding onto his last thread of sanity with a weakening grip.

He pulls his broad knees to his chest and wraps his arms around them and sniffs, tears forming slowly.

Maybe Raph doesn’t have time for this, but in a way, it's what he truly needed at this moment. He has been running so fast and so hard in worrying about his brothers that he hardly had a moment to himself to process. 

Big tears worthy of crocodiles start falling from his face before he could stop them.

He was a failure. He failed his younger brothers. He was supposed to protect them and lead them and now look where that decision left them. Separated, hurt, and lost. 

his body fully sinks into despair on the floor with the weight of his guilt on his shoulders. letting out a sob as he leans his whole weight against the last shred of sanity, praying he doesn't go savage and lets out a few pitiful whimpers. He failed them. He failed his brothers….

After a good cry that he would have to mark down in his ledger in red as the wasted time, he pulled away from the savage in him begging to be released. He refused. He absolutely REFUSED to let it happen. He didn’t have the time and as a good leader he needed to make sure Leo got help and he found Donnie. 

He picked up a flat disk jewel of treasure, some large crystal thing with what looked like golden fangs carved into the front with some runes circling around it and gold adorned the sides and branched off making handles on either side reminding him of a cheap two-handed mirror you could buy at the bazaar. He growls at the piece of junk and chucks it against the wall, just wanting to break something and curb his frustrations. 

Instead of shattering on impact like he expected the engraving of the fangs glowed and hummed. Light burst forth from the mirror against the wall and the noise was so loud Raph had to cover his ears. It felt like it was the equivalent of a flashbang. 

When his ears weren’t ringing anymore and he could see again there was something new there that surprised him. Or maybe it was the lack of something that truly made Raph pause. 

Wait.

Waiiit…..

Raph sits up quickly and on his feet walking over to the mirror. The room smells like someone scorched the earth and there was a new tunnel where the mirror had impacted. About 500 feet out where it abruptly ended. But it definitely wasn’t there before. 

Ralph looks to the mirror and sees the fading runes and teeth sparking and smoking slightly. So that explains how these guys were making the tunnels. Good thing he didn't have that mirror pointed at him when it went off. 

He gulps and reaches down re-claiming the mystic treasure finding it warm. If these guys were using this to make the tunnels however and wherever they wanted them….maybe Ralph could use it to get back to the surface!

He Grins gripping the handles on either side with a new plan in mind.

“Don't worry Leo, Big bro is gonna get help” he mutters to himself and He walks up to a blank wall and holds the mirror out at arm’s length. He's not sure how to activate it since it was a fluke the first time. He shakes it a few times and nothing happens.

“Uhhhh…” he flips around and looks at the front tapping it a few times. Apparently, you should NOT do that because it started glowing again and Ralph had a very short time to react and point it at an angle before the thing is going off. It’s like firing a gun because there is a kickback he wasn’t expecting and he lands hard on his back.

He's back up again with a grunt to find another tunnel about 500 feet long and angled slightly towards the surface. It was working and HOLY SHIT!!!

“HOT!!!” 

he drops the mirror finding his hands slightly red like he had stuck his hand on the stovetop, sure felt like it too. He blows on them gently finding the skin tender and sporting second-degree burns. Blisters already forming on his hand, something he had only seen once when Mikey had accidentally burnt his hand while cooking. He remembers that the box turtle needed help the next few weeks with any two hand tasks. 

But the mirror only worked in a short burst so he would need to do this a couple more times if he wanted this plan to work. Raph bites his lip and the throbbing pain starts to sink in. He had to push through. He has to if he wants to help his brothers. 

His resolve cements as well as his acceptance that he might permanently ruin his hands. 

He takes his bandana mask and rips it in half wrapping them around the oozing bleeding hands as makeshift bandages, at least with it already red it hides the stains. He picks up the mirror again squeezing his eyes shut from the pain. A sweat breaks out on his brow and he fumbles with the mystically powered mirror dropping it again. 

“Damnit!” he hisses out trying again this time succeeding to pick up the mirror with a more firm grip. He taps the front of the mirror feeling it heat up in time with the light. 

This time he's ready for the kickback as well as the searing heat. 

Even if his hands are bloody broken and bruised, even if he can never use them again, he will save his brothers. He will get help. Even if it kills him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have no fucking clue what came over me because not only is this chapter much longer than what I needed it's actually a completely different chapter than it was supposed to be. I didn't like the original and so I scrapped it. Then I sat down and wrote for 3 straight hours and edited it in another hour when normally I can only do 40-minute bursts tops. 
> 
> so I want to know which one of you sent a writing demon to curse me to get this done??? 
> 
> next chapter we visit Mikey and Leo to see how they are doing. It's actually going to be my second favorite chapter (the first favorite yet to be posted.)


	8. No longer alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey takes care of Leo and they share a tender moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings apply ahead!
> 
> Dislocated shoulder, relocating said shoulder, asthma attacks, and panic attacks. 
> 
> EDIT: as an additional disclaimer I'm not a doctor and you should probably not try to put your arm back into socket if you aren't experienced. please seek professional help if you think you have dislocated your shoulder or any other joint. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Mikey was used to loud noises, he had three other brothers who would rough house, play video games at max volume, and fight intense battles against both yokai and mutants.

Mikey was used to the noise that came with living with three rowdy brothers and their action-packed lifestyle. And even when they were fighting all over New York there was a constant stream of noise that wrapped Mikey in familiar comfort. 

The hum of the AC during the summer, the buzzing of Donnie's electronics, the clanking of weights from Raph, and the constant boisterous chatter from Leo. 

Nothing was too loud for Mikey. 

That's what he thought anyway until he was met with the incredibly loud sound of Leo's uneven breath echoing around the cave. It was the only sound besides his own breathing and it's seemed to only be amplified by the silence.

Maybe it was only too loud because Mikey was so focused on Leonardo’s breathing. He watched the steady rise and fall of his chest and monitored it like he was cooking a souffle. 

His job was to protect Leo and make sure nothing happened to him, and so he was constantly watching his breathing and adjusting his head. he had propped up on one of the bags of gear to make sure his big bro was comfortable, even if he wasn't conscious.

Adjusting the bag for the tenth time A grunt pulls Mikey from his thoughts and he's sure he's dislocated a disk in his neck at how fast he whipped his head around to Leo. 

"Leo! Ohmigosh! You're waking up! How do you feel."

Leonardo understandably didn't answer right away, his head lulling to the side with a whimper and then he opened his eyes slowly. He looks to the ceiling of the cavern and moves as if he is going to sit up but lets out a cry of pain. 

Mikey is on him in an instant pushing his chest back down.

"Hey hey, it's okay. Just lay down right there. Yeah, that's good Leo." 

Leo didn't protest laying right where Mikey left him looking at his brother dazed. 

"What happened?" He croaks out and Mikey is reaching for his water bottle from the pack.

"Drink some of this" he unscrewed the cap and gently tilted Leo's head up a bit to feed him a few sips of the cool water. After Leo swallows a few sips and Mikey wipes away the stray droplets from his chin. 

"Mikey, what happened?" Leo asked again, this time with less of a croak, his face pinching with pain. The box turtle chews on his lip for a second wanting to put this delicately. And not a doctor delicate touch lightly. 

"There was an accident. The cave fell in. Do you remember?" He watches Leonardo's face quint and shifts with fleeting emotions as he tries to recall what happens with his sluggish mind like he is chasing a thread of thought while trudging through a swamp. 

His eyes widen comically when he finally secures his grasp on the thread and he looks to Mikey in a panic. 

"The cave in! Is everyone okay? Are yo- OW!" The slider hisses in pain gritting his teeth suddenly his good arm reaching for his shoulder.

"Leo! Careful! we think your arm is broken." Mikey admonished pushing the slider back down to a lying position. 

"Hnngn...yeah talk about a tough break" Leo teased through grit teeth but it falls flat like a pancake on his audience. 

At least Mikey knows that Leonardo is marginally okay if he's still cracking jokes. Even if his smirk is tainted with a grimace. 

"Where are the others?" He asked finally and Mikey watched him flex his left arm by clenching his fist, the good one of course. He winced slightly after that. Maybe he was checking to see if he could move his bad arm. 

"They went for help. They will be back soon though" he macks Leonardo's good hand that was drifting back up to prod at his shoulder.

"Stop that." Mikey scolds with a frown. His older brother only raises an eye ridge in response not used to being scolded by his baby brother. 

"Smacking an injured person? For shammmme Mikey." guilt stabs it's way through his back, piercing his heart as he deflates.

"S-sorry Leo. Did I hurt you?" He leans forward earnestly, only earning a wide smile from his brother. 

"Relax bro. I was joking. I was only checking my arm to see if there was any broken bones on top of it being dislocated."

"Dislocated?" The box turtle turned to Leonardo's arm. It did look weird like his shoulder was more squared rather than round like it normally was. 

Leo nods in response, his hand gently prodding his bad one wincing all the way down.

When he reaches his lower arm he bites his lip and his eyes roll back in a concerning way that makes Mikey think that Leonardo might have just passed out from the pain. 

"Leo! Are you okay? Is it broken?" His brother doesn't answer right away, hissing through gritted teeth with clenched eyes before he finally lets out little pants of air. 

"Nah. Not broken. Probably a fracture though." He hisses out his eyes opening slowly and taking far too long to focus back on his brother. 

The box turtle scoots closer as if he wasn't practically on top of them. "Anything I can do to help Leo? Tell me what to do and I'll do it."

"Can you get me one of those painkillers from my bag? They won't do much but they will help alleviate the pain for a little while."

Mike nods, going to the Jupiter Jim bag and he rummaged around trying to locate the tablets. His hands skitters across the inhaler from earlier causing it to roll slightly away. 

For some reason it makes him pause. He grabs the inhaler and the white packet of pills labeled Tylenol. 

He rips the paper open with ease shaking out the two pills into his hands and offers them to Leonardo who takes them and pops them into his mouth. 

Mikey helps him take a small sip of water to help wash it down. 

Leonardo lays back down and lets out a sign with his eyes closed. 

" I shouldn't fall asleep right now." His voice sounds tired. Too tired for the energetic slider that Mikey is used to. 

"I need you to keep me awake bro." Leonardo requests with a seriousness that Mikey is foreign too and makes his stomach flip flop. 

Mikey swallowed "What do you want me to talk about?" He asked squirming in place. 

"Anything..just keep talking to me and asking me questions." His eyes are still closed but one of them slips open and there is a faraway look to them. 

Mikey is considered a talker. He got banned from Donnie's lab for that exact reason. He loved to talk and compliment and just jab away with April. 

And when he's put into the situation where he has to talk he suddenly can't think of a single thing to say. His fist tightens and he feels the inhaler in his hand must have picked up after giving Leo his pills and the plastic creaks under the pressure. 

Looking down at it a single question forms in his mind.

"Why did you bring my inhaler? I haven't had an asthma attack in years."

That seems to grab Leonardo's drifting attention because both his eyes open and he looks at the orange inhaler in Mikey's hand blinking a few times. 

"Oh yeah, I never stopped carrying it around even after you stopped having attacks," Leo admitted with brutal honesty. 

"But why?" Mikey practically whispers watching his brother's goofy face break out in a grin. 

"Well my dear Michalegleo, I'll let you in on a little secret. It's my lucky charm." He winks at Mikey like he would understand the hidden meaning. 

"Lucky charm?" His face scrunches up in confusion and doubt. An inhaler had to be the weirdest lucky charm ever. 

"Yuuup!" He pops the preaching for the small canister and rolled it around in his hand for a moment. 

"Weell I guess technically it's more of a treasured memory than a lucky charm." He smiles widely offering it back to Mikey when he reached for it. 

"When you were younger you had asthma attacks all the time. Dad was pulling out his fur with worry because you kept forgetting to keep your inhaler on you."

Mikey vaguely remembers those times. He was barely 6 and wheezing practically every other day, the dust from the lair too much for his developing lungs. His dad ended up getting him an inhaler to help with the attacks. How he got a prescription was a mystery to everyone.

_"You must keep this with you all the time orange."_

But Mikey was just a kid and had trouble focusing or remembering things; his attention span was far too short to remember to bring his life-saving device. 

"You generally were okay… but there was one time that really scared us." 

Leonardo didn't even need to specify the time because Mikey knew exactly which time Leonardo was referring to. 

_'I can't breathe. Dad, Raph...anyone'_

_His chest felt heavy like Raph was piling on top of him and every breath was a pitiful wheeze. It scared him. It started with just a cough and he went to get some water leaving his brothers to continue their board game without him._

_But then his airways were closing up like a snake was squeezing him around his neck and he kneeled on the floor starting to have a panic attack._

_Was he dying? He needed his inhaler. Where was it?_

_He pats down his pockets to his orange hoodie...it wasn't there._

_He lets out a cry that sounds more like a whimper and he finds himself laying down on the cool floor._

_He can't find his inhaler, his family didn't know he was having an attack, and he was going to die._

_Hands on the back of his shell, they rolled him over. He's now sitting up and something plastic is being pressed to his lips._

_"Breathe in slowly Mikey and hold it there." he's instructed and he does as he's told, breathing in and then holding it there for a few seconds._

_"Good job...one more time for me Mikey. Then we are done. You're doing great."_

_He feels a hand on the back of his shell rubbing circles slowly as Mikey takes a few more breaths. He still can't breathe but it's getting easier. He's not sure how much time has passed but suddenly he can breathe again._

_He has to wipe the tears from his eyes away to see again but when his vision clears he sees the red stripes of his brother's face._

_"Hey buddy. You're alright. It's alright." He soothes with crinkled eyes and a wide smile. ___

__"That was the day I decided I wanted to always take care of you guys when you were feeling sick."_ _

__Leo reached up taking Mikey's hand, rubbed small circles into the back of his hand, mimicking the motion from years ago._ _

__"I carried your inhaler around after that and always made sure you had it when you needed it. And years later you stopped having the attacks and needing the inhaler, but I never stopped carrying it around.ya know just in case."_ _

__Mikey squeezes his brother's hand smiling down at him. Leo had taken an interest in medicine after that. He always was the one to put bandaids on boo-boos and the one that put ice packs on bruises after too much roughhousing._ _

__Leonardo had taken up the mantle at such a young age, learning first aid, and always watching their backs silently. Mikey is just now realizing how much Leo did for them. And never boasted or bragged._ _

__"Okay...I think the painkillers have kicked in enough"_ _

__"Enough for what?" A puzzled box turtle asked._ _

__"Enough for my shoulder to get reset."_ _

__Leo then reaches over to his shoulder and pressed against it gently before Mikey can even stop him. He hisses his brow sweating slightly with the mental and physical strain._ _

__"...c-crap...I don't think I can do it...." He lets out a little gasp, his head hitting the back of the cave floor with a thud as he gives up._ _

__Mikey bites his lip chewing on it. Leonardo was always there for them when they were hurt….looks like it was time for Mikey to do the same._ _

__"Can I….can I help?" He offers hesitantly watching his brother's eyes widen._ _

__"No. Mikey it's okay. We should just wait unt-"_ _

__"I can do it Leo. Just tell me what I need to do and I'll do it." He sits at attention now waiting for Leo’s guidance. He watches Leonardo’s eyes flick over his face and at first Mikey thinks Leo is studying him, trying to decide if he can handle it or not._ _

__But then he realizes that Leo is talking, or no...mouthing words while his eyes flick back and forth from left to right. Leo isn’t studying him. He’s studying his medical book in his head. Eyes scanning back and forth like the pages were right in front of him and not back in his room on his desk._ _

__He's scanning a few chapters deep based on how serious Leo looks and how long he takes stuck in this realm of memorization till he stops. His eyes in one spot apparently finding what was needed because now he's not looking through Mikey but at him._ _

__“Okay Mikey, this is what I need you to do. We are gonna do something called the FARES method to pop it back into place. This is one that we can do while I’m laying down. Which is definitely a plus in this situation.”_ _

__Leo lays down flat against the floor looking straight upward to the ceiling._ _

__“I need you to come up beside me and hold my wrist with both hands, as even as you can with my body. Start with that.” Mikey nods shifting his position from Leo’s injured side. He grabs his arm glancing up nervously to Leo to make sure he's not putting him into too much pain._ _

__He sees his brother suppress a wince but he didn't complain and thinks that Leo is just being brave for his sake._ _

__"Okay, good now I need you to make a handshaking motion, be gentle and slowly start pulling it so it looks like I'm raising my arm over my head."_ _

__Leo is reaching for his Jupiter Jim bag, his fingers just brushing against it barely out of reach. He grunts with his failed attempt and then finally grabs it. He puts the strap on his mouth and bites down on the nylon strap to keep from biting his tongue._ _

__"F'oky...I'm ready." Words spoken through gritted teeth He gives Mikey the go ahead with a small nod._ _

__He lets out an exhale steeling himself for what he is about to do. Mikey takes Leo's wrist and starts moving it up and down gently. Just as he starts he can hear his brother's breathing grow rough and he sees their left wrist tighten to his side._ _

__Mikey's first instinct is to stop. To soothe his older brother and apologies for the distress he's putting him through._ _

__But he can't stop as it would only prolong the pain he's putting him through._ _

__He's at the halfway point now, Leonardo's body and arm make a 90-degree angle now and he can see fresh tears spring from his eyes and they fall down his face silently like a fresh spring and yet he still makes an effort to not shout in pain._ _

__He's almost done and he's thankful for that because it looks like Leo is about to pass out and he feels his hands shake in guilt. Leonardo lets out a whimper that grows till it's a muffled shout that almost drowns out the sound of the shoulder popping back into place._ _

__The body before seizes upward letting out harsh breaths through his nose and then goes limp. He thinks Leo has passed out for a moment but then he's proven wrong when he spits out the strap and pulls the newly fixed arm to a resting position on his chest._ _

__He looks like he is sweating like he just ran a marathon, breathing like it too._ _

__"Good job Mikey….It's back in." He closes his eyes looking so worn out and more tired than he ever has._ _

__Mikey knows he should focus on being vigilant and checking on Leonardo. But Mikey takes a moment to revel in his success. He thinks he deserves at least that. He managed to get Leonardo's arm back in place and even Leo said he did well._ _

__Even Leo was resting. Wait …._ _

__He shakes the slider gently, careful of his newly relocated shoulder joint. "Leo, stay awake. I don't think it's a good idea to rest right now." Concern lacing his voice and a cold stone settling in his stomach_ _

__Leonardo's eyes shoot open like he was caught snoozing in class instead of playing a dangerous game of permanent slumber._ _

__"Sorry.. your right...I'm just really tired." Even the slider's eyes seem to be blinking slowly like he was trying to hang onto every second of darkness._ _

__"It's okay. You can rest once Raph and Donnie get back." he smiles to his brother and Leo smiles back a silent moment of safety and hope shared between them. Maybe things would be okay now._ _

__“What the hell are you doing down here kids?” a gruff voice shouted startling them both._ _

__Or maybe Mikey spoke too soon._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder who stumbled upon the two turtles at the end of the chapter >;3
> 
> Look at Mikey taking good care of his brother! I really enjoyed writing this chapter because not only did we get to explore some of Mikey's and Leo's past through more flashbacks but I also got to write more Leo which I love and he got to show off his medical knowledge a little bit. 
> 
> Anyway, it's almost 1 am I'm going to bed.


	9. A Little Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael finds a way out and gets some advice from an unexpected place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the only warnings ahead are blood and mention of open wounds. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Sweat poured down Raph’s brow, dripping slowly down his face and down his neck. He would worry about his work out stink if the smell of scorched earth and burning flesh hasn't permanently seared itself into his nostrils. 

His hands quaked with every movement and each breath was labored. The mirror’s blast had been doing an excellent job of forging a new path to the surface, although he is beginning to grow exhausted. Every blast from the mirror burns his hands a little more and he’s worried he’s fused them permanently to it. 

The thing still has that crazy powerful kickback and so Raphael has to brace every muscle in order not to fall back onto his shell or accidentally miss and take off an appendage. He definitely needed those. 

He also had a sneaking suspicion that to power this mirror it zapped the energy from himself. Like it slowly siphoned it out of him like a mosquito getting fat off of his energy, but it could also be just simple exhaustion. 

Raphael with unsteady hands lifted the mirror up, making sure to tilt it slightly up before activating it. He feels the thing begin to warm up under his hands and he prepared mentally for the upcoming pain with a whimper. He digs his feet into the ground to make sure the blast does not push him over. 

He thinks his theory of the mirror stealing his energy might have more of a foothold than he does right now because it gets harder and harder not to fall back on his butt with each blast. The mirror yields in its work and another 500 feet of the tunnel has been generated. 

And it's filled with water??? 

“Oh no.” are the only words Raph can get out before it's filled with dirty water. It pushes him back and he loses his grip on the mirror and it's swept away with the current and the water stings the open wounds on his hands. Bubbles escape his mouth from the gasp he wants to let out and it's immediately replaced with the filthy taste of the dirty water. 

Wait, not just any dirty water. sewer water!! He’s hit the sewers!! He can get home from here. His heart beats quickly as he holds his breath and swims through the hole he created, making his way upward till he breaks the surface. He never thought he would be so happy to see moldy walls and a rat floating on top of garbage down the stream. 

He pulls himself up by his elbows onto the walking area, careful not to use his hands since they are currently bleeding and he can hardly make a fist with them anyway. He lets out a hiss as the water combines with the open wounds and he knows if Leonardo was here, he would be chiding him about infections. 

He can worry about that when he has the time though. 

Back on semi solid footing Raph can’t help but let out a deranged laugh. He did it! He made it back home, he knew exactly where he was too! He just needed to go down this tunnel and turn right twice and left once and he would be back at the lair! 

He was in his home turf now, a place he knew like the back of his hand. No more dark cave walls and eerie noises. He could save Leo and Mikey, and Donnie! Wait..

His padding of feet comes to an abrupt halt. 

Donnie and he got separated. If he leaves now he would be abandoning Donnie and increasing the chance of not finding him later. 

He turns back around ready to sprint back down the tunnel from where he came but hesitates. 

But if he goes back, it wastes time, time he and Leo don't have. He might find Donnie quickly or he might waste valuable time that could end up being the difference between his brother's life and death. 

He turns back around to run home. But stops again once again conflicted. 

He growls pressing his hands on either side of his head letting the pain of his hands ground him in place and he realizes he is going to have to clean the blood off him later. 

“Come on Raph, you're the leader. What would a leader do in this situation?” he asked himself standing on the precipice of a decision. The tunnels extend almost infinitely in Ralph's mind and in each direction, just caught in the middle like a tightrope walker stuck between a raging fire and a crocodile. 

“Okay okay. Mind Raph, what should I do?” he asked, looking to the ceiling waiting for his inner voice to respond. 

**_“You should go get help”_ **

“Okay Great! Thanks, mind Rap-”

**_“No, you should go back for Donnie:”_ **

“Wha….but you just Said”

**_“Go get help”_ **

**_“Go back”_ **

**_“Leo!”_ **

**_“Donnie!”_ **

“STOP!!!” he grabs either side of his head again tightly shutting his eyes wanting mind Raph to stop echoing in his brain. Like this he can’t hear anything but the pumping of his own blood in his ears. 

_**“Raph...Raph. Raphael!”** _

Raph’s eyes shot open, hearing Donnie's voice loud and clear was enough to get him moving. But when he opens his eyes he's not greeted by his brother's face but the slimy opposite wall of the sewer.

“Donnie? Are you here buddy?” he asked looking around. Maybe Donnie had found his way out and caught up with him.

**_“Don’t be illogical Raph, I'm in your mind.”_ even though he couldn't see Donnie he could feel the eye roll he was gifted. **

“Uhhhh... how's that work?” Raph asked, finding himself going along with it for the moment 

**_“Sigh. you know how your mind Raph is basically a manifestation of your gut leader instincts?”_ **

“Yeaaaah??? Nooo…” 

**_“Well, your gut instinct is split down the middle right now. And so you need me. A Logical outlook on the problem.”_ **

“I have a mind Donnie too?? Who else is in there?” 

_ “ **Don't worry about that right now. Right now you need to listen to me closely.”** _

Raph sat there quietly and a few moments had passed and Raph was starting to doubt if he even heard Donnie to begin with. 

**_“I need you to leave me behind and go get help for Leo.”_ **   
  


“What!! You want me to leave you-err... Donnie behind?”   
**_  
_ **

**_“That is correct.”_ **

“No way am I going to abandon you uh him!” 

He could practically feel the deadpan face he was getting from mind Donnie. And he began to pace angrily back and forth.

**“Raph, listen to me. Leo...he doesn't have much time.”** that gets Raph to pause his pacing. 

**_“He’s in a much worse shape than me. He's the one that needs professional medical attention and quickly. You can all search for me after Leo gets the help he needs.”_ **

Raph pursed his lips and squinted his eyes, looking for something to counter the logic.

“You could be hurt too. I saw you fall down a hole.” Mind Dee shrugs a bit and it feels awkward in his head. 

**_“I could be. But we don't know that for certain. What we ARE certain of though is that if you don't get help for Leo right now there might not be a Leo. I can take care of myself until then. Go.”_ **

Raph hesitates again turning back down the tunnel that would take him home. 

“If you're sure…..”

  
  
**_“I am. And so are you. Go, Raphael. go save our brother.”_ **

“Okay...thanks, Mind Donnie. But don't get comfortable in there!” 

**_“Scoff, Wouldn't dream of it”_ **

And Raph was alone again. And running. Running towards a familiar direction, towards home. Towards hope. 

As his feet slammed against the floor like a steady war drum, He hoped that mind Donnie was right. He was so close to home! He made every turn with a precise accuracy feeling the blood from his ruined hands dripping slowly down his wrist and arms, blood being flung to the walls carelessly with the movements of his run. 

A warm glow up ahead alerts Raphael to how close he is to home and he can't suppress the tears of relief that flood his eyes slowly making the light of his home blur together like city lights on the river. 

“DAD!” he's shouting between his heavy breaths. Crossing the finish line feeling like an olympic winner getting the gold with the amount of endorphins and adrenaline that floods his system. 

He spots his dad in the only spot he ever sees him outside the kitchen which is in front of the TV. the rat turns startled by the frantic yelling of the eldest son. 

“What is it Re-” his words halt and his eyes widen in alarm when he takes stock of his son's frantic filthy and bloody state. 

“What happened. Where are your brothers.” he chops out a pinch to his brow, he turns off the TV to give more gravity to the situation. Raphael almost wishes he left it on so it would drown out the sound of blood pumping in his ears.

“Are the boys back?” another voice Ralph knew as April called out from the kitchen. She strolled in with a plate of reheated pizza from last night and dropped the plate in her shock, shattering it into tiny pieces.

She covers her mouth in a show of surprise noticing Raphs hands still dripping in blood onto the floor. 

“Ralph, oh my god. What happened?!” she rushes over to him reaching for his hands and examines them while Raph hissed from the contact. 

Raph looks to her worried darting eyes and he swallows, finding his mouth too dry before he speaks words that he wishes weren't true but are. 

“It's Leo. he's hurt.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raph finally has made it home to get help, but will it be enough? >:3 
> 
> okay. so we have officially hit *checks notes* 1000 hits and I'm completely blown away and in shock??? I literally wrote this as a self-indulgent piece for myself with the encouragement of others in a discord. so when I got to the point I could post it I was like: "it be cool if I got like a comment or two and maybe ten people read it." just wow. thank you all so much for the Kudos, comments (the give me life) and for reading this story. 
> 
> next chapter we go back to Mikey and Leo. whats that? you want to know where Donnie is? don't worry we will check on him soon. his chapter is actually going to be the BEST one (in my opinion.)


	10. Fight For Your Life (and your brothers)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We Learn who found the two turtles. ehhhhh.... they were probably better off alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you don't hate me yet you will soon. 
> 
> Warnings ahead, blood, injury, open wounds, and broken bones.
> 
> Happy Reading >:3

The new voice startles Mikey into whirling around. Standing at the mouth of one of the two tunnels were two mutants or yokai judging by their appearance. Both have hunched over dark forms, wide ears atop their head that flicked and vibrated with every movement from Mikey. It unnerved him to think they could hear him breathing from so far away. 

They wore what looked like worn-out coveralls with thick boots, talons shoved through holes in them seeing as they were now ill-fitted for their forms. Heavy-duty gloves adorned both their hands and it looked like they had been previously scorched like they had been welding or moving logs around in a fire. Atop each of their heads was a blue and white hardhat with a headlamp attached. 

He knew exactly what they were, Mikey could spot one from a mile away in the dark, which they often had to do to avoid human contact. 

Sewer maintenance workers. Or at least previously sewer maintenance workers, they had likely been mutated by oozsquitos. Or simply they mutated because of the toxic waste known as the New york skewers system. Too early to rule that out. 

Their arms were thick indicating muscles and Mikey belated realized that there is a thin flesh-like membrane hanging from their arms. Wings.

They were bat mutants. Mikey shifts uncomfortably in his spot and the taller of the twos ear swivel to the movement Glassy midnight eyes follow after looking as he's not quite focused on Mikey. Yet he felt pinned on the spot. 

The mutant knocked his knuckles against the cave wall three times. Mikey flinches lightly at every tap and even Leo shifts in place but is uncharacteristically quiet. 

"There's two of em Bobby" 

The second much shorter mutant, Bobby, taps what looks like a crowbar against the wall three times. His ears wiggling in place.

"Your right. One of em is hurt too." his head then lifts and sniffs the air gently. It's only then does Mikey realizes that they either are blind or have very bad eyesight. 

"Who are you?" Leo asked behind Mikey through a strained breath sounding like he was attempting to puff up his chest to intimidate them.

"Easy kid. You look like you have been through the wringer." The short one comments dropping a bag that he had slung over his shoulder. 

"I'm Bobby, this one's Saul." He points to himself first then jabs his thumb over his shoulder to the taller stoic mutant whose ears flick casually at the movement. 

"Whut ...uhhhh whatcha doin down here kids?" Bobby asked walking forward a few steps and kneeling down to get close to both Mikey and Leo. Too close. 

Leo reaches out and grabs Mikey's wrist beside him suddenly like he's trying to convey something but Mikey is busily watching the two mutants. 

_ 'Maybe they can help' _ he thinks, a flame of hope sparking in his chest. 

"We got lost, there was a cave-in, and we needed to get out. Can you help us?" Leo's grip tightens but the flame of hope is so bright and distracting that Mikey follows it like a moth.

Bobby and Saul look to each other seeming to have a silent conversation based purely on ear movements and..is that clicking? They turn back around and Bobby puts on this wide smile. It exposed his fang-like teeth but his eyes are kind and welcoming. 

"Sure thing kid, we can help ya out." Mikey feels his face light up like a Christmas tree. 

“R-really?!” he asked in almost disbelief tears starting to pool in his eyes with relief. 

Leo’s Grip remains. An alarm bell in the back of his head just barely shaking. 

“Yeah kid, come on.” he holds out a gloved hand out to Mikey and he takes it, the bells fading away like a muffed alarm clock under thick wool. 

Leo’s grip tightens and pulls Mikey back with a force he didn't know he had right now.

“actually ...I think we should wait here. our brothers will be back soon anyway and we don't want to worry them.'' Despite Leo having some serious injuries his grip continues to tighten and he pulls Mikey back from the offered escape with his good arm. 

“What?! But Leo they are off- '' Mikey turns his head around and feels his blood go cold at Leo’s expression. His face is pale, probably from the pain and loss of blood. But what concerns him the most is the wide smile on Leos’s face. 

A smile Mikey recognized as the ‘oh-shit-we-are-in-so-deep-but-don't-let- _ THEM _ -know-that’ smile and he follows Leo’s line of sight to the dropped bag on the floor. Poking out of it the barrel of an automatic weapon. The alarm bells that were previously muffled are revealed in startling 3D surround sound. Cold dread settles over him in a blanket form

“Uhhhh..actually he's right. He scoots away from the danger closer to his brother, subtly shifting his body to block Leo from their view. Not that it would matter much since they can’t see. A frown twists up on Bobby's face and Saul lets out a sigh pulling out a pack of cigarettes and lights one up casually. 

“Listen. I think it's in your best interest if you come with us.” 

“Ah, give it a rest bobby, he’s not coming with you willingly. “ he takes a puff of his cigarette and holds it in his lungs before hissing it out between yellow teeth. 

“Just take him already and waste the other. The hurt one won't last another hour anyway.” he exhales again and Mikey is on his feet in an instant standing in front of his brother, arms out. He never knew that the alarms in his head could be so loud.

“No! I'm not going with you and if you want to h-hurt Leo you will have to go through me!” he yells feeling his pre-fight adrenaline kick in and starts spreading through his system warming his previously cold-core. He pulls out his kusari-fundo letting the familiar weight of the weapon in his hand grounding him. The light from the flaming end cast the room in an eerie glow making his new opponents be cast in darker harsher shadows. 

“So be it.” Saul flicks his cigarette onto the floor and squashed it under a boot. 

Mikey’s not sure what happened after that. He wasn’t ready, and they moved so fast, or maybe that was Mikey's concussion messing with him, the taller mutant having crossed the room in just a single blink. Pain erupts from Mikey's chest as he realizes one second too late he’s been punched in the gut.

“MIKEY!” Leo shouts with concern, the sound just the thing he needs to recover quickly and block the second blow coming from the shorter figure. He backflips and swings his weapon snagging the ankle of Saul and flings him with all his might.

They land with a solid thud and a wheeze and he can hear them swear the mutant now stunned.

“Kick his ass!!!” from Leo in encouragement. He hardly has time to acknowledge it because he's having to deal with Bobby now. The bat on him in a second swinging his crowbar at Mikey and he has to do another backflip to avoid it. Making sure to use the heel of his foot to take out the shorter mutant and he’s confident in saying he broke their jaw. 

“This has gone on enough” Mikey is ripped out of the air by a clawed hand and slammed against the wall. Oh wow that wasn’t good for his head at all and he thinks he might throw up.

When his vision isn't seeing double he's met with the snarling yellow teeth of the mutant that he thought he had stunned. 

Mikey’s vision doesn't stay with him long though because the grip around his neck tightens and the room dances, black spots darting across his vision like a school of fish swarming him and dragging him deeper into the ocean of unconsciousness. The grip around his neck tightens painfully and he feels his lungs constrict as he tries to breathe. He claws frantically at his throat desperately seeking the sun above the proverbial surface.

He thinks he's almost reached the surface because he starts to see the light. Oh wait wasn't that a bad thing? 

Just when he thinks he is going to embrace the sun fully he's dropped unceremoniously to the floor landing awkwardly on his ankle and it snaps to the side, pain erupting from it and shoots up his body, causing him to shout. Air is offered to his lungs like a fine drink and he gulps it down greedily.

“Hey ugly, leave my brother alone!!” Leonardo's voice bellows across the cave. Mikey’s not quite up yet but he turned on his side to see a green and blue blur slowly come back into focus. When the colors no longer make up a Monet painting he can see Leo sitting up slightly now, grimacing in pain and a small stone clasped tightly in his only good hand. 

“So you want some too? Bobby. Ice him.” hissed the mutant, his attention temporarily off the gasping box turtle and now on the wounded slider throwing pebbles. 

Mikey's vision sharpens and tunnels when he sees the mutant stalks over to Leonardo. he’s standing over him as the other makes it's way up off the floor, his partner having gotten his second wind.

Leo opens his mouth, probably a quip on the tip of his tongue ready to fling at the mutants but he doesn't even get a chance to launch it because he kicks him quickly in the gut with a sneer.

Leo coughs he doesn't even get a chance to shout in pain from the cruel shot before the mutant is stepping on his shoulder with a wicked grin that unlocks something in Mikey and causes Leo to scream in pain. 

Their talons sink into the flesh opening new wounds and cause even more precious blood to spill to the cave floor in a sacrifice that is greedily accepted.

“LEO!”

Mikey is back on his feet. He doesn't even know what is moving him. His kusari-fundo is out of reach but who needs a weapon when you are possessed by the monster they unleashed?

**“Get away from him!”**

Mikey grabs the arm of his attacker and pushes down till he hears a satisfying snap. With Raph-like strength, he flings him across the cave hearing them crash to the floor loudly. He doesn't even look over his shoulder to check to see if they get back up because now Mikey is launching himself on the second mutant's back and pulling him downward, smashing their head on the floor. 

He hears a satisfying crack and he's up again turning on a dime and standing in front of his brother protectively. Mikey looks twice his size, the low light of the headlamp on the floor casting hard shadows on him and making him look as dangerous as he feels. 

“You touch him again and I’ll kill you!” he threatens with a confidence he didn’t even know he possessed. Raph’s thing was smashing, Mikey’s was the razmataz. But in that moment he felt like he could smash these punks like a Fabergé egg. 

His newfound courage and aggression seem to make the mutants hesitate because when they re-group they seem less keen on attacking again. Every muscle in Mikey’s body is pulled taught, ready to pounce like a tiger let out of its cage at the slightest movement. 

He wasn’t going to let them even  _ LOOK _ at Leo, his body in front of the injured brother taking up as much space as possible to block him from harm and view. 

There’s a rumble and at first, Mikey thinks it's coming from his soul, a deep guttural growl that escaped him when he wasn’t paying attention. But instead, the room shakes and there is a moment Mikey thinks it might be another cave-in. 

“What was that?” 

“It's the weapon!!! Someone must be using it!” the other gasped turning to the other with wide eyes and a bloody lip. They turn tail dashing down the open tunnel cursing under their breath. 

“We aren’t finished with you!!!” The tall one shouts over his shoulder nursing his broken arm like he hadn't been just threatened with bodily harm and was point two seconds away from being dismembered by a very ticked-off box turtle. 

The cave is empty now, just him and Leo. Mikey is still working the adrenaline through his system as he tries to cage back the monster that was unsatisfied with the outcome. He would have REALLY enjoyed beating them up a little more and that thought scared himself a bit. 

He shifts his weight and is quickly reminded of his ankle he landed on awkwardly. He lets out a surprised shout falling backward onto his tail next to Leo. 

He hisses, sitting on the floor he tenderly brings his leg up and touches his ankle. It's swollen, looks like a sprain, something Mikey had in the past, and recognized the pain. He could worry about his own injury after he checked on Leo. 

“I got you, Leo, it's okay they are gone now” he reaches gently for his brother and turns him over so he’s laying on his back now. 

Leo is unconscious again, which is concerning but would be expected considering what he just went through. 

“Let's get your shoulder taken care of” Mikey’s hands are shaking, adrenaline still working its way out of his system and some concern bubbling beneath the surface. He has to limp around him, his ankle very much sprained. He reaches for another roll of bandages to take care of the new wounds left by the bats manhandling Leo. They aren’t deep thankfully but they are bleeding and they need to be dressed. 

He grabs the last roll of bandages only to find there is hardly enough to wrap around Leo’s shoulder once. He needs to dress the wound with SOMETHING though. He scratches his head thinking and feels the cloth mask underneath his fingers. 

Wait! That was it! 

He quickly removed his bright orange mask looking down at it for a few seconds. He will admit it was hard using his precious mask but it was going to be worth it because it was going to help Leo. 

“I’m sorry I let them hurt you,” he speaks, he knows Leo can’t hear him right now being unconscious but talking steadies his shaky hands and nerves. “Don’t worry. I'm gonna fix you right up.” he cooes as if Leo is the one that needs to be coddled right now. 

He uses the last bit of the bandages and crafts together a makeshift gauze pad with the leftovers and then uses his mask to hold it into place, wrapping it around and tying it off securely. 

The orange stains red quickly but it doesn't spread far so it seems to be doing the trick. 

“See. All good now. “ he declares looking to Leo’s peaceful sleeping face. 

So peaceful….laying perfectly still.

Perfectly still.

Too still…

Wait.

Leo’s chest was perfectly still.

And it's with a startling horror that Mikey realizes one thing he missed while tending to him, the one thing he had been watching all day. 

His brother wasn’t breathing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want a re-fund I have bad news. I already spent the check XDD *dodges sharp objects flung my way* sorry for the cliff hanger we will meet back up with them soon but its now time to see where Donnie has been this whole time. That chapter is my ABSOLUTE favorite so stay tuned >;3 
> 
> this was also my first time writing a fight scene so that's why it's so terrible lol.
> 
> so I also have a tumble now that you can talk to me about this or just like hang out with me if you want! there are only a few re-blogs of things and I haven't even put a profile picture up LOL but I will probably get around to that (eventually)   
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/its-kall-the-clown


	11. ah-ah-ah Stayin Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Later finally comes for Donnie and he has to deal with its fall out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT INFORMATION!!!
> 
> I moved warnings to the END of this chapter so as not to cause spoilers. this chapter is my favorite and I worked very hard on it and if you want warnings please see the endnotes. tags updated tho so this might be useless :P 
> 
> we finally get back to Donnie!! his chapter is very long but it has a lot that happens so strap in! also if you comment I will give you my soul LOL. 
> 
> everybody breathe it gets better. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

Donnie doesn't think he ever got warm after the pool of water. His body shook in place and every minute he was alone his urge to lay down and sleep grew a little bit more. It was so dark without a source of light and the shivering soft shell was sporting a few new cuts and bruises on his knees from tripping and falling forward so much. 

It got so bad that he eventually had to sacrifice his beautiful purple mask to wrap his right knee up to stem the bleeding and keep it from getting infected. Leo would scold him if he came back from this with an infection because of his carelessness. 

Leo…..

Donnie leans against the cold wall letting the frozen feeling press against his skin, and his muscles barely have the strength to shiver anymore. 

Thoughts of Leo and his condition haunted his mind like a shade looking to take hold and feed off his emotions. He ran a shaking hand down his face trying to force back down the feelings of guilt that was slowly eating away at his warmth. 

He pushed off the wall forcing himself forward. Can't outrun your sins when you are standing still after all. He tries to find a single shred of something good in him, Mikey always encourages his brothers (especially Donnie) to think positively and complement themselves when you feel down. 

Something Donnie would never admit to doing in the mirror every morning just to get himself to feel adequate enough to stand next to his brothers. Maybe a little of what Mikey said was true and he just needed...something to refuel his tank that had long since run out of gas. 

“I-Im…” his voice startles him in the cave, so used to the silence that came with it he has to clear his throat before talking again.

“I’m really good with tech….the best.” he looks at the busted communicator on his wrist and an ugly frown twists upon his face. Okay, bad thing to think right now. He pushes forward and tries again. 

“I uh...I’m s-smart.” no I’m not. I forgot the simple task of letting someone know where we were going. He gulps finding his throat constricting tightly. He pushes forward. 

“I'm'. really. Really good at…” 

at what? What are you good at? You useless excuse of a life form. If Leo dies it will be  _ YOUR _ fault. No one else's. And your brothers will hate you. Not that they didn't before. You're too stuck up. Arrogant and if it wasn’t for your tech you would be a waste of space. The twisted voice in his mind hissed sounding like his own but much deeper, crueler. 

“I’m really good at fixing things….” he states halting in his track effectively bringing down the ax of logic onto his self-doubt, cutting it off in one fell swoop. A memory pops into his head, filling him with a warmth he didn't know he needed so badly till now. 

_ “Wow Dee!!! You're so amazing at fixing things!” A bright smile spread across the young slider's face forcing his way into Donnie's space. They were just young kids at that point, maybe 7 or 8 each? Who could keep track?  _

_ Donnie had taken apart the projector that they used to watch movies with dad. It was movie night and the blasted thing was broken. Mikey wailed and Raph pretended he wasn’t upset they couldn't watch the new Jupiter Jim movie that just came out as he calmed the box turtle down.  _

_ Donnie decided that no. they weren't going to miss the movie, and with his tool kit opened up the projector and started searching for the problem. Mikey and Raph were off coloring now to pass the time as they waited for Donnie to work his magic, he thought Leo had joined them but looks like he would rather bother his twin.  _

_ “It's not that amazing..” Donnie adjusted his glasses on his face sheepishly going back to locate the problem. Leo shakes his head back and forth excitedly refusing to believe the words fed to him.  _

_ “No way. It's SO amazing. You can fix anything Donnie because you're the best at fixing things!” he beamed so brightly at him he was worried he might short circuit the power grid of New York.  _

“I’m really good at fixing things,” he repeated again, pulled from his memory and pushing forward confidently now.

“I’m really good at fixing things and I’m going to fix this” he declares with confidence now feeling warmer and stronger. He could worry about the ‘what ifs’ later. Later when he had time. But right now he needed to make sure he fixed the situation he put them in. 

He passes by a broken stalagmite. wait...and two giants holes in the floor!!!! Donnie knew where he was!! He recognized this tunnel; it's where he and Raph got separated. His feet start moving forward, carrying him with an urgency buzzing under his skin. There was a faint light ahead of him, encouraging him to move faster. 

He hears a fair shuffling and sniffing that echoes off the cave and now he's in a full sprint.

"Mikey!! MIKEY! LEO!"

The sniffling stops and Donatello begins to doubt if he heard correctly. That he had truly succumbed to the cave madness after being alone so long.

"Donnnoiieeee…" a small pitiful voice croaks out. That ignites a spark of both hope and fear in his shell. The two titans go head to head in a boxing match for dominance. 

Donnie burst into the opening of the cave. 

The round is over and fear comes out the champion. 

Mikey is hunched over Leonardo's limp body, sobbing his heart out with a soul-wrenching cry. 

"Donnnieeee" he whimpers looking at his older brother’s maskless face as he realizes the orange material is now wrapped around Leonardo's left arm. A new gash bleeding and soaking the material a dark crimson. 

Mikey is also sporting a few new bruises of his own. 

What the hell happened while he and Raph were gone?

"What's wrong?"

"L-Leo-" 

Mikey had to stop and take a moment to wipe the tears from his face and Donnie wouldn't be so impatient over it if he wasn't so worried. 

"He's not...b-breathing" he sobs out, finally covering his face as his shoulder shook and his little brother imploded on himself. Cold panic seeps from his feet slowly filling his body like nitrogen filling up in his lungs and suffocating him. Drowning him. Once again he's forced to put everything away for later. He's not sure how much more 'later' he could take. 

"How long?" He asked urgently, earning another sob from Mikey. 

"How long Mikey?! How long has he not been breathing?" He snaps grabbing his brother's shoulders and shaking him to attention. 

His brother's eyes widened shocked at Donnie's harsh reaction. He could apologize for it later.

Later. 

"J-J-Just a few m-moments ago he stopped breathing." He admits almost inaudible and that's all Donnie needs before he's shoving Mikey out of the way. 

Taking Leo's good wrist he checks the pulls. 

There is none…..

Okay, he could do this. If Leonardo just stopped breathing a few moments ago he could bring him back. He could fix this.

His fist clenched and unclenched a few times like he was reaching for something he needed but didn't know. 

What did he need?

He needs...he needs…

He needs to perform CPR. 

A cherry-picked memory surfaces to the forefront of Donnie's mind. Ripe and red as Leonardo's blood. 

  
  


_ “What in the name of einstein are you doing?” _

_ He remembers walking in the garage late one night to find Leonardo apparently making out with what appears to be a mannequin. His phone is set up next to him, a video playing softly but he hardly remembers the voices or what they were saying.  _

_ Leo looks up and smiles at his brother like he wasn't JUST macking on a human mannequin. Should he be worried? Who is he kidding? It's Leonardo. He should  _ **_always_ ** _ be worried.  _

_ “Hey, Dee. I'm just practicing something” _

_ “is it kissing? because ...yikes” _

_ He remembers seeing Leonardo's face scrunch up and let out a 'yeck' sound.  _

_ “grosssss. No, I'm practicing CPR” he stated, pausing his video and going back a few moments to replay what he just missed from his brother's interruption.  _

_ Donatello must have started paying attention then because the words coming from the phone play more vividly and clearly in his mind.  _

_ 'alright, and after 30 chest compressions you will then tilt the head back to open the airway like so-' _

_ He watches his brother’s concentrated face as he follows along doing as instructed. It was interesting, to say the least, to see Leonardo so invested in something. Normally the slider couldn't focus on something for more than a minute if it didn't involve something fun.  _

_ Yet here he was. With a creased brow, and a concentrated look. Elbow deep in learning a skill that couldn't be deemed as 'fun'.  _

_ '-and after pinching the nose' he zoned back in listening to the soft speaker. _

_ 'place the mouth over the person's mouth to make a seal and breathe into it to make the chest rise and repeat that step' he then noticed that not only was Leonardo ignoring him now but he was mouthing along with the video. It was obvious that Leo had watched this a few times already.  _

_ “you just gonna watch or do you want to learn with me?” _

_ Leo asked pausing his video again looking up to his brother. Something hopeful in his eyes. If only Donnie had given into that look. He had given in the past for much less, but for some reason this time the ‘Leo puppy turtle eyes’ had no effect on him.  _

_ Donnie waved him off, back on his quest to retrieve the tool he needed to go back to his lab.  _

_ “no thanks. I have no desire to swap spit with you and the plastic dummy. Plus I'm never gonna need to know this stuff.” _

_ “okay….night Donnie” _

He curses past Donatello. Just one hour. One fucking hour of his life with Leonardo and he would be better prepared for this moment. 

Looks like he is going to be flying blind with just a vague memory and guilt to be his co-pilot. 

First step. Chest compressions. 

He's not entirely sure how his hands should be situated but he settles for one on top of each other. What did that damn video say? 

He hears Mikey sob next to him and he has to worry about that later. 

30 compressions. 

He counts pressing down as hard as he can on Leonardo's chest. Does this even work the same for turtles???

"Fuck."

He swears his arms already tired after only one round of compressions. No wonder Leo practiced this, it was a workout. 

He could worry about how tired his arms were later. Worry about how he swore in front of Mikey. Of how he failed his brother. 

He could worry all about that later.

But he wasn't sure how much more 'later' he could take. And later was starting to feel a lot closer now with Leo drifting further away. 

"I swear to God Leo if you don't wake up I'm gonna kick your ass." He grunts in-between compressions. 

Now to pinch the nose. Fuck Leo didn't have one!!! How the hell is he supposed to do this with no nose? 

Instead of pinching the nose, he adapted his limited knowledge by covering the nose slits with one hand. 

One breath.

He needed Leo to wake up, he needed him to tell him how to do this. 

Two breaths. 

Chest compressions. 30 of them. 

He needed that stupid smile to spread across his dum dum face and laugh at him for worrying. He can picture it now. Leonardo would sit right up and tell some stupid joke and he would smack the slider for worrying them so damn much.

He could feel his vision getting blurry with tears and sweat breaking out on his brow but he didn't have time to wipe either of them away.

"Come on you bastard…" he grits out 

One breath. Two breaths. He didn't know how much more he can do. He needs a break but he can't even entertain the thought of granting himself one. He needs help. He needs his brother. He needs Leonardo. 

But he was losing him. And it was now later….

"DONNIE!!!" 

His head shoots up his rhythm of chest compressions offbeat. Looks like later could wait a bit more.

"Raph! Dad! April!" Mikey shouts joy radiating off of him and he jumps up to greet them. Donnie didn't have that luxury. As glad as he is to see his family he still has one member that has yet to show up for the reunion. 

And he'll be damned if he didn't let them have the chance. 

One breath, two. Compressions. Keep it going. Even if you're tired and winded. 

"We need to get Leo to a hospital!" A frantic April shouts catching onto how dire the situation has become. Donnie would agree if there wasn't one problem with that. 

"We can't. Human hospitals won't do Leo any good." There it is. Thank you, Raph. Wow, he's getting tired.

"Then we don't take him to a human hospital. There's a yokai hospital in the hidden city we can take him to "

Draxum? for once he's happy to hear the bastard's voice. Sure they accepted him as semi-family ever since he changed his ways but that didn't mean Donnie had to LIKE the guy. But right now he was inclined to kiss the yokai if it meant he would help. 

"We must act now." A new source of magenta tinted light emits through the cave and the smell of ozone is Donnie's only indication that a portal has been opened by Draxum. Thank GOD the goat man knew that spell and had enough energy to perform it. 

Donnie is on God knows what count of chest compressions when a hand on his shoulder pulls him out of his trance. 

"My son. It's okay. You can stop now."

He wants to scream in frustration. Of course he can't stop!!! 

Donnie isn't entirely sure what is happening, but as soon as he pulls back, Raph is gently lifting Leonardo's form upward, taking care not to jostle his arm any. Leo looks surprisingly angelic like that. Head cradled to Raph's chest like he was simply sleeping. 

He didn't get to really sit on the implications of comparing Leonardo to an angel at the moment because the next thing he knows he's getting shot through a portal and ending up in the lobby of a yokai hospital. He's dizzy. Disorientated and the buzzing of panic that he had been pushing down all night is slowly bubbling up. 

Raph easily gained a doctor's attention because he's already on a stretcher surrounded by doctors and nurses administering him air with an Ambu bag. There is a whirl and a shout and Leonardo is being hit with the defibrillator. His body jerks upward on his own that looks unnatural and it shocks Donnie so much he feels like he's the one getting volts of electricity. 

"They are hurting him! Stop hurting him!" Mikey shouts ready to dash forward if he wasn't already cut off by Raph's arms scooping up the box turtle.

"Mikey no! They are helping him!"

Another jolt of electricity and Leo's chest jerks again with the action. Mikey's fight doubles as he squirms in Raphael’s arms like an angry cat. Arms out reaching desperately for his brother. 

Donnie's ready to turn away. He can't watch his brother die. He just can't. Leonardo can't die. 

"We got a pulse!!!!" A nurse shouts and Donnie isn't sure he heard them correctly. 

and suddenly the doctors are pulling Leonardo away. Probably to do some intensive care and stabilize him further. Dad follows under the doctor’s request but that leaves April, Raphael, Draxum, and Donnie alone. 

And just as quickly as this all happened. It ended. Two doors swing shut as Leonardo is taken away to be taken care of by professional doctors. Would he be alright? Did Donnie do his best? 

There was a quiet moment shared between the siblings. 

And then Suddenly…..it was later. 

The tsunami of later crashed down on him. The wave forces him down to his knees and fills his lungs with saltwater making it impossible to breathe. 

His legs give out and he collapsed to the sterile tile floor. He couldn't stop shaking and the room around them was too loud for him. He clutches the sides of his head and shuts his eyes tightly. 

It's too much. Everything that was supposed to happen later was happening  _ now.  _ There's this loud noise going on and he's not sure where it's coming from, too muffled by the ringing in his ears. 

It's with the startling realization he feels his throat moving and he then makes the connection it's himself. Screaming. Screaming in anguish for his brother and all the 'laters' that he had to endure. It was like finally opening the soda can after it had been shaken around in an RV that got picked up by a tornado. Tossed this way and that, with no regard to the owner or his whims 

He feels several pairs of hands on the back of his shell and April is the voice he grabs onto as well as one of her small hands. Gripping it tightly he hears her speak softly but can't register the words coming from her mouth

He tries to focus on her blurry face not being able to distinguish the colors from one another, smearing together like a ruined painting. She keeps repeating one word over and over again. He knows this because he focuses on her ruby lips that act as an anchor in this whirlwind of a storm of ‘later’.

What was she mouthing? 

b...Breathe? 

oh yeah. He was getting light-headed. He momentarily forgot in his breakdown that most life forms need oxygen to live. He gulps down oxygen greedily and holds it in his lungs for probably a second too long and lets it out. 

It's an uneven breathing pattern he adopts but it’s better than screaming his throat hoarse and passing out from the lack of air in his body. 

Mikey is rubbing circles into the back of his shell, Raph is counting for Donnie so he can keep track of his breathing and April simply grounds him with her hands while he attempts a more normal breathing pattern. 

Who knows how much Time passes but finally Donnie has calmed down enough to finally feel guilt wash over him and embarrassment for his breakdown. 

"You back with us Don?" Raph asked, reaching out to touch the back of his brother's shell only for Donnie to flinch away from him. He regrets it instantly seeing the hurt face that washes over him. Some wicket part of him whispers his satisfaction for hurting his older brother. 

_ ‘Good’  _ it hisses 

_ ‘Let him feel bad. He deserves it for leaving you behind.’  _

Instead of apologizing, of having the heart to heart that he desperately needs he turns away. Shutting everything down. Putting on a classic disinterested Donnie face that screams boredom despite the red puffy eyes from tears and his cracked lips. 

The softshell looks to April and he feels pressure in his hand from a gentle squeeze. His face is twisted up in a frown. 

“C-can I have a moment Alone with April” he whispers out, sounding far less confident than what he tries to portray. It gains another frown from April and he can feel glances exchanged behind his back. 

It seems like the eldest makes silent decisions exchanging a look with April conveying something that Donnie elects to ignore. The older brother choosing to hand off Donnie in more than capable hands. 

"Let's get you checked out too Mikey. I'm sure we can get a doctor to look at your injuries and stuff."

Mikey nods quietly standing up with a wince. Donnie would have to ask later how Mikey got new injuries. But that could wait for for….no. don't even THINK that word right now. 

Raph leads Mikey away making eye contact with Donatello over his shoulder that he shies away from. He's not quite emotionally ready to deal with Raph yet. It’s just April and Donnie now and for that, he's thankful and unhappy at the same time. 

"Do you want to get something to drink? I think I saw a yokai equivalent of a vending machine." She offers and he nods quietly. 

"Sure." He feels the eyes on him from other nurses and doctors and he wishes he had the skills where he could just disappear into his shell.He's aching for his purple hoodie right about now so he could shield himself from the judging eyes. He's being handed a bottle of water and he looks down and blinks at it like it had two heads because he didn't even see April buy it.

"Take small sips." She suggested sliding down the wall and sitting there against the vending machine. Donnie joins her slowly sitting down next to her as he unscrews the cap and takes a gulp. 

"Want to talk about it?" She asked finally after a few moments silence only broken up by the sound of drinking. Donnie's first instinct is to shake his head and deny a feelings talk. He didn't do emotions or heart to heart conversations. And yet...he finds himself nodding his head in the fashion that is traditionally interpreted as yes. 

"I was…..put under a lot of stress in the past few hours." He admits shamefully. The normally cool collected bad boy Donnie admitted finally. He runs a hand down his tired face. He squeezes the bottle tightly in his grip, crinkling the plastic in his hand from the pressure. 

“I forgot to tell someone where we were going. Raph put me in charge and I just...URG!!” he slaps his hands over his face harshly hurting himself in the process and hiding his face from his friend. He let out a long sigh running both his hands down his face again so roughly he threatened to take his skin off his own skull. 

“I messed up April. I messed up so bad it almost cost my brother's life.” he lets out an unhinged laugh that sounds like the equivalent of plunging a sword into his own heart. 

“Who knows. It still could cost him his life. We don't know if Leo is going to-” April grabs Donnie's face squishing his cheeks together and forcing him to look at her. 

“Donnie. What happened was not your fault. None of you could have predicted what happened.” 

“But-”

“Hold it. I’m not done.” 

“If you told anyone of us where you were going, how long would it still be before we found you?” she asked, pausing every gear in Donnie's mind.

“Think about it. If you told us where you were going, and how long it would take, and if yall didn't show up on time, chances are we would wait another hour before getting worried.” 

Donni’s gears start turning again but slowly. 

“Then it would take us WHO KNOWS how long to find you guys and then we would have to dig you out of the cave and by then...well I don't know if Leo had that kind of time” she admits leaning back against the vending machine giving the poor nurse who just wants a drink a stink eye scaring them off before she continues.

“You and Raph trying to find another way out was the best and correct decision. And it might have saved Leo’s life.”

Donnie wasn’t a hugger but he made exceptions for holidays, birthdays, and special occasions. But he flung himself so hard at April and hugged her so tightly she fell backward onto the tiled floor with a shout. She wrapped her hands around his shell and hugged him tightly. 

Donnie cried again, this time in a controlled manner just letting out all the guilt he had been harboring. He was going to be alright. They were all going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings that apply. 
> 
> major panic attacks, lots of feels, angst, and CPR followed by resuscitation by defibrillators. 
> 
> also, long-ass authors note bellow. 
> 
> Authors note: The following chapter contains CPR. CRP is a life-saving medical treatment and should ONLY be viewed as such in real life as well as this story. I did a lot of research on CPR before writing this, even going as far as to sign up for a class to learn (that was then canceled due to covid) because I wanted it to be accurately displayed. However, if you wish to learn CPR please do not use this story as a guild, I am in no way an expert and I might still get something wrong. please refer yourself to the internet. There are plenty of online resources that you can use. also just because someone is giving another person CPR even if it's family it's not weird. again it's a life-saving medical procedure so please don't take this as me trying to slip some Donnie on Leo action in. 
> 
> thank you for coming to my Ted talk. <3 
> 
> PS: the chapter title is a reference to the fact you are supposed to do CPR to the beat of staying alive. As a bonus fun fact the stories title comes from a verse from the same song! >;3


	12. He Has Time For This (finally)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see the brothers finally get some time together now that Leo is being taken care of. Raph finally has some time and makes one more leader decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings apply to the beginning of this chapter! kind of a short chapter ahead :3 
> 
> we are almost to the end.

"Alright, looks like it's just a sprain. I'm going to fetch you some painkillers and an ice pack and then we can go over upkeep for it." The kind yokai doctor states giving the small box turtle a sympathetic smile. 

"I'll be right back sweetie. Don't go anywhere." not that Mikey had much of a choice, he wouldn't be able to get far on his inflamed ankle She exits the room leaving Raph to look over his brother. He observed Mikey sitting on top of the paper clad counter looking so small and defeated. 

Mikey sniffs and wipes his eyes quickly and lets out a whimper. He looks so odd without his orange mask on. It almost made him look more vulnerable and it stabbed Raph through the heart. Seems they all were going to need a new mask at the end of this. His own torn and soiled with blood. 

"I'm sorry if it hurts, she will be back soon."

"....."

"Mikey?" Raph asked kneeling to get to his brother's level trying to get him to make eye contact with him. Mikey’s hands are wringing in his lap, his eyes are shining with unshed tears and the paper wrinkles beneath him from his shifting. He looks up the tears now shedding down his round face. 

"I'm s-sorry Raph!!!" He sobs throwing his arms around his brother's neck crying into his shoulder. 

Raph is thrown off, it takes him a moment to return the hug to his baby brother. 

"I let you down! I d-didn’t protect Leonardo. The mutants showed up a-and they attacked us and I wasn't"

He took a gut-wrenching wet breath in that shook his whole frame. 

"I-I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't protect him and I…"Raph cuts his brother off-putting two big hands on his tiny frame 

"No Mikey, you did well. You fought off two mutants on your own, tended his wounds, and made sure to stay calm the whole time." Mikey sniffed and he wiped away one of his tears. 

"You did a good job, Mikey. Leonardo is gonna be okay because you did a good job." 

And just like that Mikey was relieved of his duties of being in charge, the role being tentatively taken back by his big brother who recognized that his baby brother was hurting and needed someone older than him to take back charge. 

And Mikey gave it willingly with a full-body sob. 

“He’s hurt! H-he's Really HURT!” Mikey babbles wildly, grabbing desperately at his brother who pulls him tighter into a hug. Listening to his baby brother cry in his arms while his other brother is likely lying on an operation table, and the last one is having to be talked down by April….it makes Raph feel like he has failed as a brother.

And maybe he has? After all, it was his job to keep his brothers safe and protected. He felt like he was doing a pretty shitty job of that. All he could do was hug Mikey and coo soft words into the top of his head. 

“Shhhh...its okay... Its all going to be alright. Leo is gonna be fine and you did so good buddy” Raph felt a few of his own tears join the sorrowful mix. He wasn’t even sure if he was trying to reassure Mikey or himself at this point. 

There is a soft knock against the frame of the door and Raphael thinks is the nice nurse coming back with stuff for Mikey. He pulls away only enough to turn his head. Mikey's hands tighten around Raph’s shell indicating he’s not letting him go. 

He feels his eyes widen at the sight of a dejected-looking Donnie. He steps into the room fully his eyes cast to the floor instead of looking at his brothers. 

He opens his mouth. Then snaps his beak closed quickly as if the words died in his soul before they could even make it out. Ralph is pulling one arm away from Mikey and holding it out. An invitation extended to the last hurting brother. He expected Donnie to deny the hug, not big on touch or emotional moments, maaaybe he would grumble and hesitantly join the circle but would only stay for the socially acceptable amount of time. 

Instead, Donnie is there in less than two strides, hugging his brothers at awkward half kneeling positions. arms wrapped around Ralph’s plastron. Mikey hops off the table joining his brothers on the floor allowing them all to sink comfortably to the ground.

“I’m sorry,” Donnie whispers out in between a hitched breath, sounding so apologetic and hollow it's enough to break his big bro’s heart. 

“I should have told someone where we were going, I s-should have-” It startles Raph honestly not expecting a reaction like this but he quickly recovers and hugs his brothers shell tightly, Mikey joining in quickly to love on Donnie. he wasn't going to have Donnie blame himself, not when everyone knew it was HIS fault. 

“Hey, none of that. If anything it's..” he bites his lip watching his brothers look up to him waiting for him to continue. Would they still look up to him when he admitted his sins? 

“I should have been a better leader. Leo had tried to teach me some first aid and I...I never wanted to learn.” he admitted, finally waiting for the gasps to fall out of his shocked brother's mouth, for them to turn on him and agree. 

“That's...not your fault Raph...Leo tried to teach all of us at one point.” Mikey admits pulling back and rubbing his arm gently. Looking guilty as Raph felt. Donnie nods agreeing with them quickly. 

“He tried to teach me too..tried to get me interested in his hobby. But I was too busy or…. thought I was too busy.” he ran a hand down his face, an action Raph recognized as Donnie wallowing in self-guilt. Mikey looked like he was serving himself a hefty portion of that as well. Time to put a stop to that now. And time to make some decisions as a leader. 

They were gonna change. No more putting one responsibility all on a single brother. They were going to share the load. They would all be responsible for letting dad know where they were going from now on, even if it meant each brother had their turn telling him on the same day. They were all going to learn to listen to each other and learn when the other is offering to teach.

“Leo is going to be alright” he reassures his brothers bringing them impossibly closer together as if he was attempting to fuse them into one. He gulps something stuck in his throat before continuing.

“He's going to get better, and we are gonna BE better after this. Be better for Leo.” he sees two heads bob up and down in agreement. Good. looks like they were all on the same page. All three brothers bask in each other's comforting reassuring presence. And while they are sitting there only one thought settles in his mind. 

Raph had time for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said at the beginning, We are almost at the end of the story. and I'm very excited but also kind of sad? like I'm getting post-departure LOL is that something you can get from finishing a long fic? this is my first real long story so IDK.
> 
> The story may be ending here soon BUT! due to staying up till 2:00am last night and a long smoke with a cigar a brilliant sequel idea hit me! yes! a part 2 will be going underworks starting today. 
> 
> I also have some deleted scenes that didn't make it into the story because of pacing issues but I might post them separately to tie myself over as I attempted another 2-month project LOL. 
> 
> you might get the last chapter later tonight depending on how generous I am feeling.


	13. After Math

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo gets something he didn't know he needed from his brothers. interest. 
> 
> no warnings apply happy reading and see you next time! <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the Long-awaited Leo chapter. We haven't seen one of these since the first one. LOL poor Leo hardly got any screen time. I hope you enjoy!!

A loud exaggerated sigh left Leonardo’s chest as the comic he was holding over his body fell forward covering his face. 

“Boooooarrd” he groaned. 

It had been about three weeks since the cave incident and Lenardo was healing splendidly. Thanks to the special care every single one of his brothers has been giving him, his father's fussing, and a yokai doctor prescribed pain killer he was now cleared to walk around the Lair. He was banned from all forms of strenuous activity, however, which meant no skateboarding, no training, roughhousing with his brothers, and no topside trips. 

To put it plainly, Leonardo was going stir crazy. His brothers did a mostly good job of entertaining him. 

Jupiter Jim marathons, board games, video games that  _ weren't  _ dance dance revolution, pillow forts and popcorn, and comic book reading seshs. They were careful around Leo too. To the point, he felt like a priceless vaus that could shatter at the first hard look it received.  It bothered Lenardo to be treated so delicately, to have every door opened for him, his seats intercepted with a pillow before his tail could even touch the chair, to have his brothers check on him every hour and monitor him like he might sneak out at any second. 

In their defense, Leo  _ had _ attempted a few topside trips just to get some fresh air. His Odatchi has been confiscated after that stunt. If one good thing came out of this it would be that Leonardo's sneaking ninja skills were going to improve tenfold.  He wasn’t above still attempting to sneak out at night for a breath of fresh air. He had been successful a handful of times and he suspected his father knew about his midnight outings but remained quiet about it.  At least his father recognized he needed a little reprieve every once in a while and granted his son the small pleasure. 

His brothers were also very careful of doing any activities that Lenardo wasn’t allowed to partake in. they kept the skateboarding to a minimum, always finding an excuse to stop as soon as the slider entered a room. 

Training was a touchy subject too. Of course, the brothers continued to train, they couldn't afford to let their skills slack or fall behind. And so training sessions were random and sporadic in attempts to throw Lenardo off. 

His brothers, apparently more in tune with his emotions than he realized, figured out that watching a training session he couldn't partake in would put a rain cloud over his head for the rest of the day. Despite their best efforts Leonardo could tell when they were about to train because before they would slink off to work on their respective weapons they would all get up individually at separate times and make an excuse to leave. 

They were quite obvious where they were going but Lenardo pretended not to notice. To wave them off and to say something like ‘catch ya on the flip side.’ then go back to his comic with feigned indifference. 

Then he would hear the soft sounds of training echoing off the tunnel walls. They would bang around in his skull taunting him of all the things he wasn’t allowed to do while he pretended to read the same page over and over again. His brothers would come back one by one an hour or so later with a sheen of sweat that always made Leonardo's green monster grow. He missed training with his brothers, to feel the simple ache of muscles after a good work out and to laugh and joke without a care in the world. 

He huffed again in frustration as the pages of the comic settled on his face fluttering slightly in response. He pulled the pages away from his face before they could get sticky with his hot breath. He sat up with a groan careful of his arm that is in a sling. He was tired of reading and sitting here in bed. If he can’t train he might as` well hone a different skill.

Setting his comic aside atop the pile of 30 other issues, he gets out of bed and walks over to his desk. He grabs a medical textbook that is worn through and the spine is taped together shoddily to keep the loose pages from fluttering away. 

Next, he reaches for his first aid kit. Might as well check the supplies while he was at it to make sure he had everything. 

His hand meets empty air and he finds the kit missing from its normal spot. He looks to the empty spot with confusion and scratches his head with his good arm. He’s sure he left it right there. Perhaps he moved it?

His Jupiter Jim bag was oddly missing too….

Okay….. and so was his more intense medical kit. The one he had yet to use (thank god) but held surgical supplies.

Misplacing one item Leo could Admit was on-brand for him. Two was a coincidence, Three was a pattern. A pattern he didn't create.  Maybe Dad took them? Raph would know if that's true or not. He exits his room pulling back the curtain.

“Hey Raph, have you seen my first aid kit?” called Leonardo he entered the main room with a slight wobble in his step but no one was there. 

No Mikey, No Donnie, and no Raph or dad. Perhaps they were in the kitchen?  He tries there next with no improved luck. The place looked like a ghost town. Maybe they were all training? But he couldn't hear the normal sounds of sparring that come with a normal training session.  He decides to try there anyway and makes his way to the training room making sure to keep an eye out for his family on the way there. 

Before he can enter the room he can hear Mikey’s voice 

“So when do we get to do surgery on a grape?” it asked, earning a familiar groan from Donnie. 

“When we get the  _ basics _ down.” 

Leonardo pauses outside the door listening to his brothers talking. It's instinctive at this point to sneak around them so he presses his back to the wall and leans around the corner just enough to see what they are doing. 

“well...Is that the right answer then?" 

His eyes widen at the sight in front of him. 

Set up in a circle are his three brothers with his first aid kit open and items scattered about them. Actually not scattered. Lined up neatly in front of them, each object laid out in even rows of four. 

Mikey is looking to Donnie who had his Donnie pad up and is scrolling gently.

"No it's not a scalpel, that's the sharp one Mikey. It's CLEARLY forceps…." He pauses scrolling some more for a moment. 

"I think…"

"Guys it's not a forceps. It's a ….uhhhh"

Raph scratched the top of his head grabbing the instrument and examining it. 

"....tweezers?" He states sounding less confident now. Donnie lets out a growl and sets his Pad down. 

"No it's forceps. They are all tools and if there is one thing I'm good at it's remembering tool names." he peers down at the tools and medical supplies and squints. Like he's not quite sure if he's right but is too Donnie to admit it. 

"Actually, it's a five-inch Hager needle holder. But is more commonly referred to as a needle driver"

Leonardo chimes in joining the circle so subtly that his brothers didn't even notice his presence till he spoke. And three brothers look like they are ready to jump out of their shells when he speaks. Leonardo leans back using his one arm to support his weight and he smirks at his brother's entertained with their shell shocked faces. 

Ha shell shocked. Good one. 

"sOOOOooOOOO what kind of game are we playing?" He teased looking down at his stuff laid out now noticing up close that every item had an index card in front of them.

Some had writing on it, some were left blank. The one that entertained him the most was the one underneath the scalpel. 

It had a small knife written in bold red writing, then scratched out in orange and replaced with delicate orange that said 'bandage cutter <3' that was replaced with purple text that said 'scalpel' and Leonardo didn't even know handwriting could hold so much sass. 

"And why does it involve taking my stuff?" He raised an eye ridge suddenly realizing that he wasn't the only one practicing his sneaking skills apparently. 

"We aren't playing a game…" Mikey admitted shuffling in place for a moment looking bashful. Even Donnie adverts his eyes away from the slider. 

"We were trying to learn and memorize all the names of the stuff in your first aid kit" Raph admits, finally gesturing to all the items laid out before them. 

"Annnnd why are you trying to do that?" Leonardo asked sending to be more confused. Apparently, his prolonged time in the lair he had lost his touch to read a room because the doctor's delicate touch seems to burst out of Mikey. 

"Because you almost DIED Leo!" He shouts and it's a metaphorical punch to his gut. 

"You almost died…." He repeated tightening his fist.

"We almost lost you Leo. We didn't know what we were doing and it almost cost you your life" The room goes deadly quiet and it takes Leonardo a moment to regain his footing because he doesn't say anything right away. 

“Technically you were legally dead for about one minute and thirty seconds,” Donnie interjects which earns a smack upside his head from the eldest brother. Leonardo doesn't take it personally, he knows sarcastic comments and clinical facts are just familiar tools his brother uses to cope with difficult situations. 

"Guys….it's okay. I'm alright and you did a good job taking care of me when we were down in that cave." He smiles to all his brother's making sure to give them each a moment of eye contact. But they all seemed to be refusing to look at him. Instead, all three pairs of eyes were locked onto his cast in the sling. A constant reminder of what could have been their reality. 

Raph shakes his head back and forth disagreeing with him.

"No Leo. You barely made it. We didn't know the first thing about first aid. It almost cost you your life."

Leonardo feels himself swallow. Yes, it had been three weeks but they really hadn't talked about it much other than the one day in the hospital. He wasn't too keen on having this kind of conversation but it looks like he didn't have much of a choice. 

Guess they are having this conversation now. 

"We thought it be prudent to take a more proactive approach to things for...possible future events." The softshell was speaking clinically eyes fliting to Leo quickly and then away. but even Leonardo could pin down the unnerved subtle features of his brother.

"Oh…" he simply states, not sure where to lead the conversation from here.

Truth be told Leonardo didn't remember much from three weeks ago. Sure he remembers what happens before the cave-in, and he vaguely remembers talking to Mikey at one point during. Then after that, he doesn't remember much. 

Perhaps it's a blessing he shouldn't question because of how his brothers are acting now. He thinks it must have been much worse than what he imagines. He looks down at the spread of tools and mislabeled note cards. It's a nice system if they had everything labeled correctly. He chuckles a bit at some of the names they have for things. 

Unconsciously he starts re-organizing the cards. Rearranging them to their corresponding item. It was like a matching game that he was playing just to take the awkwardness out of the air. 

"Well, you are making some good progress. but I think you juuuust need to rearrange some of these …" he selects a card and reads it with a chuckle. 

"although some of these are gold and I'm definitely calling the bandages rollie bois" he snickered his shoulder shaking lightly and looking up again. All three brothers' attention was on him now with a foreign brand of seriousness and Leonardo coughs clearing his throat a bit. He doesn't like being the center of such serious attention. 

Clowning around and gaining eye rolls or scoffs was something he was used to. This he wasn't and he hated it. He stands up slapping his knee with his good hand..

"Welp." He popped the p trying to lighten the room. It didn't seem to hold a candle compared to the dark gloom hanging over everyone now. 

"I'll be off now. Don't want to interrupt your lessons." He gestures over his shoulder inching his way to the exit and flees this awkward exchange. 

"Will you teach us?!" Raph practically shouts yielding Leonardo in his escape. 

He almost doesn't believe he heard him correctly. He turns around suddenly looking much more like a fish rather than a turtle at that moment. 

"You want me….to teach you?" He asked an eye ridge rising skeptically. 

He can't remember a time that his brothers were interested in learning from him. His role was the clown, the one that didn't take things seriously, the one that encouraged his brother's without pushing them too hard. 

His role was not to be a teacher or a leader. To be asked to teach them...it seemed to be asking too much. To ask him to step out of his roll. And yet...he secretly always wanted this. As much as he tried to deny it he always wanted to be able to impress his brothers in some way with his knowledge.  He remembers a few times trying to reach out to his brother's, to teach them some basics in an attempt to impress them. But his efforts were always shut down before he had the chance to. Leo would ask less and less over the years finding it harder and harder to share his interest with them. His flame of want extinguished years ago.

"You sure you want me to teach?" He asked turning more towards them, something flickering inside him again against his will. 

Three heads nod at different speeds. 

"Yeah Leo, if we are gonna learn this, we might as well learn from the best." Mikey supplies looking up at Leonardo with a wide smile. 

Leonardo thinks that the flame that he has so hard to keep down, to keep from flaring up because it hurts too much to let it burn only to be snuffed out quickly, burning brightly warming his shell from the inside out. 

"Come on Leonardo, will you teach us? It will be marginally less painful than learning it on the internet'' Donnie speaks and it's paired with a faint smile that Leonardo recognized as genuine interest. 

He thinks he might leave the flame flickering. He quite likes the warmth his brother's have provided. 

"Alright. I'll teach you the basics." He puts his good arm on his waist and cocks his hip to the side with a newborn confidence. 

"But I'm still only going to call these rollie bois" he snickered, gaining a groan from the three. 

"I already regret this," Donnie states with an eye roll but there is still a big smile on his face. 

  
  


\-------------

  
  


"Boys? Orange? Red, Purple, Blue?" Splinter called walking with a few pizza boxes in his arms and April in tow.

"April is here with the pizz-"

He enters the training room to find the four brothers pulled up upon each other fast asleep. The pile rises and falls with Raph's every breath since he's at the bottom of the pile. He raises a hairy eyebrow confused at the sight before him. 

Raphael is covered head to toe in band-aids, some even over his mask, Michelangelo had a stethoscope around his neck and Donatello was wrapped up like a mummy in bandages. Leonardo was oddly untouched by this madness but his cast in his sling now was sporting colorful drawings in different color markers and the words 'rollie bois!!' in large orange letters. 

"Hey splints, you find em yet?" April calls coming around the corner now to find the pile of turtles. 

She snorts taking out her green phone and snaps a picture quickly. 

"Oh that's totally my new background..." she taps away at her phone sending the photo to a group chat that was simply named turtle emoji and then left the room. 

Splinter smiles fondly while viewing his boys.

"They are gonna be alright." 

END 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow. it's finally over. excuse me while a shed a few tears. I've popped open a bottle of 2$ wine and got a cigar out and I'm enjoying both as I write this.
> 
> I want to thank every single of you for reading. like seriously. as my first fic I never expect this much love. 
> 
> I want to thank Fictionalfoxy for quite literally commenting on every chapter and leaving these long ass comment chains that delivered so much serotonin directly into my bloodstream, (let me know if you ever need a kidney I'll hook you up). I want to thank PenWoman for being incredibly sweet and encouraging and ParvumAutomaton for leaving these comments analyzing certain chapters I loved reading your comments. all incredibly sweet people. ( i would give you all kidneys if I could) 
> 
> thank you to everyone else who comment, kudos and bookmarked. my ego is permanently inflated 
> 
> if you didn't see in the last chapter there is going to be a sort of continuation of this story in part two that I am working on. it will be probably a few months before I get anywhere near posting it because I write by myself with no one to beta or bounc ideas off of. I'll probably look for one eventually LOL.
> 
> until then you can catch me on my tumblr https://its-kall-the-clown.tumblr.com/ if you want to chat or see me post updates 
> 
> I love ya all and see ya soon! <3

**Author's Note:**

> In case you were wondering where this falls on the timeline it happens a little after re-paring the Barron but before the finale. You will likely see me edit this on and off since I don't have a beta. chapters will update slowly but only because I'm editing myself. the story is finished being written but I keep tweaking and editing. 
> 
> be gentle with me but let me know what you think!


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